The Laundromat Pickup
Ok, you’ve probably heard that Laundromats are great pick up places, better than a singles bar – that’s because they are! Maybe not better, but certainly a great alternative that’s just as good. You can pretend your entire motive is to wash clothes, and that you’re not on the make. The woman won’t have that feeling like you’re just trying to pick her up if you strike up a chat here – even if that’s exactly what you’re doing!
What really helps you out here is that women like to talk, and they love to give advice – especially to “helpless” men! First of all, pick a good Laundromat – meaning one where you’ve seen lots of attractive women who aren’t dragging a bunch of kids with them or wearing wedding rings. Basically, pick one in a neighborhood with lots of young, single women – they’ll be using the Laundromat close to home. And don’t worry if you already have a washing machine at home, it’s worth the trip out and a little change to meet women! If you meet someone that eventually makes it back to your place and discovers you have a machine at home, just tell her it was broken, or better yet, be honest and say you went to the Laundromat hoping to meet someone, and that was the best decision you ever made because you met her.
But let’s back up, first you’ve got to meet her! So go to the Laundromat with your basket of clothes – no detergent. Make sure you don’t bring anything a woman might find disgusting – like really dingy, holey underwear, badly stained T-shirts, or socks that used to be white but now look like you walked through mud in them. However, something slightly stained won’t hurt – like a grass stain on your jeans or chocolate sauce on a shirt. You can use this later to help with the conversation
Go in, plop your laundry basket down on a machine near one or more ladies you wouldn’t mind picking up, and start digging through the basket like you’re looking for something. Then say out loud to yourself, “Oh, man, I forgot the detergent!” Laundromats usually have a vending machine selling detergent, so go over and start browsing. Act like you don’t know which one to pick, then go to the woman you want to chat up and say, “Excuse me, they don’t have my regular detergent here and I don’t know what to use. Can you help me pick one out?” Women can’t resist an opportunity to give advice, and they love the idea that men might be helpless when it comes to some chores, like laundry. This is where, if you’ve got the grass stain or whatever, you can bring that up and say you don’t know what to do to get it out. She may come over and show you how to rub detergent on the stain, etc. After you get the detergent, go back to your machine, fumble around, and go back to her and say, “I’m sorry to keep bothering you, but these machines are different than what I’m used to and I don’t know what setting to use. Could you give me a hand? I’m sorry to seem so helpless.” Milk the helpless bit for all it’s worth. Ask her how much detergent to use, what colors you can wash together, and what temperature to set the water at – whatever you can think of.
Also, if the Laundromat doesn’t have a vending machine for detergent, ask the woman if you can borrow some of hers. Insist on paying her back by paying for her washing or dryer use. Either way, once you’ve got her talking, keep chatting about clothes as long as that stays interesting – once it starts to get lame and boring, ditch the topic! Make sure and introduce yourself and get her name, then start asking her about herself. Find out where she works, what she does for fun, what movies or bands she likes, what her favorite types of food are. You can use that info as she’s packing up her clothes to leave – Say, “Thanks so much for the help. I’d love to pay you back by taking you out for some Italian food (or going to hear that band you like, or see that movie you said you’d been dying to see.)”
And one last thing, be ready with an explanation of why you’re using this particular Laundromat if it’s not in your neighborhood, just in case she asks. Make sure you pick one that’s not too far from home, and just say the one in your neighborhood was full and you didn’t want to wait for a machine. Now grab some change, a pile of dirty clothes, and get ready to bag that babe!