I recently read a quote in a magazine, from a guy who was gushing about how his girlfriend compliments him in public. He said that he is always introduced to her friends and acquaintances as her “handsome boyfriend”, or “hilarious boyfriend”, or “romantic boyfriend”, and he loves it! Who wouldn’t love being appreciated and cherished in this way by their partner?
The best way to make sure someone continues to do what you like is by appreciating them when they do do it. If you let your boyfriend know that you think he is the most romantic man in the world (even if he isn’t) he will strive to be even more romantic. Not to mention that his chest will puff out in utter pride for pleasing you.
The same works for women…so often I have received compliments for this and that aspect of my personality and thought to myself ‘hmmm, I don’t think I’m really THAT generous” (or whatever the compliment was). I then want to live up to these great things that are being said about me and be a better person.
Your partner will thrive in your relationship if you give them appreciation for everything they do and everything they are. Wouldn’t you?
Here are some ways to inspire the best in your partner:
- Compile a list of things you appreciate about your partner and/or 100 things you love about your partner and watch them read it when you’re through. click here for some suggestions
- Give your wife flowers for no reason and always include a card or note with a special message. My father comes up with very creative messages for his girlfriend and just today she told me that she now looks forward to reading his cards more than getting the flowers!
- Never stop dishing out compliments and appreciation. Your wife will be less likely to tire of cooking you supper every night if you tell her that she is the best cook and that you love her food. Likewise, your husband will feel better about taking out the trash if you remind him every single week of how much you appreciate that you don’t have to lug the heavy bags out to the end of the driveway.
Who ever gave us the idea that if we compliment our partner once or appreciate what they do just once, that that is enough to motivate them to do it for a lifetime? Men if you have trouble understanding why your wife needs repeated compliments think of how you’d feel if she never appreciated all of the things you do for her. Women, if you have trouble understanding why he needs you to appreciate and admire him, think of how you’d feel if he told you that you are beautiful the day you met…then never again.