Surviving the First Date
A 10-step program for Gals
- Be on time.
- Be aware.
- Say something nice.
- Eat something.
- Don’t worry.
- Enjoy yourself.
- Give him a chance.
- Know your audience.
- Show your enthusiasm.
- Kiss or not?
I don’t care what magazine you read it in, there is no such thing as “Fashionably Late.” As soon as you’re more than 30 seconds late, he will start to panic that he’s been stood up. And if he’s picking you up, do you really want him sitting in the living room with your Dad, sister, or roommate for 20 minutes? That’s just long enough for the stories to start.
If you’re going to wear something revealing, know before you leave your bedroom that he WILL notice your ample cleavage or your tight pants. You may not think he does, but that’s because he’s trying not to seem like a pervert. No guy ever wants a girl going back to her friends that he spent the whole night staring at her chest.
Sometimes, ladies, we like to hear that we look nice in our khakis and button down. It puts us at ease. And it lets us know that the extra time we spent ironing something was worth it.
If we’re taking you out to dinner, please eat. The guy has agonized over where to take you, and if you don’t eat, he’ll think he messed up. And you’re not very convincing with the “I’m not hungry” bit when your stomach is grumbling.
By and large, as tradition dictates, the ball is in your court on the first date. Why? Because traditionally, he asked YOU out, and therefore, the pressure to impress is on him.
Stop going down the checklist in your head. Stop compiling notes for your girlfriends. Just enjoy his company the best you can. Why? Because we can sense when we’re being “graded.” That’s usually the point in the date when we start acting like what you think is “weird”. We get nervous under pressure. And if it’s a funny movie, a great day for a picnic, or an exhilarating bike ride, let him know.
It IS a first date, so he may be trying super hard to impress you. If he’s doing that, he may seem a lot less like the cool guy who struck up a conversation with you and asked you out last week. Why? Because now, he’s got a lot more to lose. Namely, you. He’ll settle down in a little bit. But for now, if he seems wimpy, weird or just overly nervous, take it as a compliment. He really wants you to like him.
By and large, the kind of guy who wants to listen to you drone on about a pair of high heels you bought three days ago is probably using you to get to your brother. Just kidding. I’m not saying to bone up on sports or anything sexist like that, but watch his face. Gauge his reactions. Talk about stuff you can both contribute to. Then again, he’s probably too nervous to talk anyway, so talk about whatever you like.
This is no time to be shy. If you’re having a good time, it reassures him that asking you out was the right thing to do. So, if you like him, let him know. Do all those girl things you know we fall for – touch his arm and laugh at his jokes; smile at him; generally, look happy. And if you want to grab his hand in the middle of the movies, go for it.
Well, once again the ball is in your court. He’s on his best behavior. He’ll walk you to the door, tell you he had a great time, and wait, like a pizza guy looking for a tip. That’s it. You can shake hands, hug, wave, or just walk away. But if you want to be kissed, you have to let him know.