Approaching a Woman in a Group
Most of the time, you won’t find women out on their own. In these situations, you need to use a few particular skills to get working the way you need it. The steps are simple – but until you learn them, you aren’t going to have much luck approaching ladies in large groups.
How To Handle a Woman in a Group
In the previous section while I was talking about separation – and especially about separating a woman you’ve just met from her friends – I bet some of you a bunch of thoughts.
Things like “That sounds great in theory” but I can’t even approach a group of girls to begin with.” Or something like “Whenever I approach groups, it never works, either I get shut out or the wrong lady likes me.”
Those are legitimate concerns. And approaching groups is often a different thing than approaching a girl on her own. You need varied tactics to make it work.
And since most women travel in packs (humans in general, actually), you REALLY need to figure out how to get that lucky girl?s attention before you even worry about separating her from the pack.
What Do You THINK You Should Do?
I haven?t directly stated how to do this yet, but if put together a few elements we?ve already learned, you might be able to figure it out.
In fact, go ahead. Put this down and take 10 minutes, 20 if you like, and just ponder this problem. I COULD just tell you (and eventually I will) but things we figure out for ourselves stick better in our brains, plus they meld into our actions more easily. So, take your time. Get a coffee, a beer, whatever. Relax, and chew on the problem.
How can you approach a group and get one lady attracted to you? The others probably will like you as well ? but we?re concerned with making sure the one YOU want is attracted.
So, how do you do it?
Building Social Value
Thought about it? What?ve you got?
Hopefully, one of the things that you came up with is social value. We?ve talked about this at length before and in terms of groups briefly, but THIS is the first key. You want EVERYONE thinking you?re the most fun guy they?ve met in a long time. You want to SHINE in comparison to the long line of shmucks that have crashed and burned with them all night long (for the purposes of simplicity, I?m assuming you?re in a club or bar, but this works anywhere).
So my students, how do we establish social value?
One thing is, DON?T just stand on the side for a half hour sizing up the scene. Once you get into a setting, basically IMMEDIATELY start talking to people. It can be your target?s group ? or, if they?re a tough nut to crack, it can be a group nearby.
Group Jumping and Making Friends
Sometimes, with ESPECIALLY attractive women who are tired of dealing with men, they?ll be EXTREMELY frosty to ANYONE who approaches them cold. In that sort of situation, I might spend half an hour making friendly contact with almost EVERYONE in their area.
The important thing is, you want to remain near them so they can see you, and you DON?T want to be throwing attention their way. This is good for two reasons: they?ll see that you?re bringing fun with you wherever you go ? and they?ll wonder why you?re not bringing it to them.
The quicker they are usually approached, the more time I spend building good time with people around them and IGNORING THEM. Forbidden fruit, don?tcha know.
And getting the groups AROUND them having a good time shouldn?t be that hard, if you remember what you?ve learned so far. Start with a question, solicit an opinion where you need a woman?s perspective. Comment on something in the vicinity, or something they?re wearing. Make it interesting, funny? often a backhanded compliment said with wryness works well here.
Or break out your showcase skill, if it?s something appropriate (you?re not bringing a guitar to the club, are you?) The important thing is to charm everyone around the group? and then, once you?ve got their attention, charm the group itself.
In the Group? IGNORE the girl you like
The key when you?re working the actual group is to IGNORE the girl you?re interested in. Chances are she?s used to being the center of attention (here?s guessing you?ve chosen a hottie) and when you address and entertain her FRIENDS instead of her, you?ll pluck her ego a bit. Get a little bit of jealousy going.
Plus, you?ll get her friends on your side. They may or may not find you attractive ? you aren?t playing them that way, but they probably will dig you anyway ? but, more importantly, you?ll get the group?s seal of approval.
Wait for the lucky forgotten lady to try and insert herself into the conversation. As an example, one time I was working a beautiful short busty Asian in a group of leggy friends. This girl was fine.
I was reading palms and getting the ladies excited (a perfect showcase skill, as you don?t even need much skill ? more later on that). The Asian butted in with ?Do me!?
She wanted some of my attention.
I refused it. Addressing her friends, I said playfully ?Man, she?s pushy, isn?t she? Is she always like this? How do you deal?? They laughed, she frowned (playfully ? smart women know exactly what is going on, but they still respond) and over time she became more aggressive.
Soon she was taking my hand and really getting grabby ? after playing with her for a little bit, finally I read her palm.
I challenged her about her dancing ? she of course had to prove herself to me, so she literally dragged me onto the dance floor.
I danced with her for about 5 minutes, teasing her all the time. At one point she said something like ?Fine, well let?s see how good YOU are then!? I danced, and she said, trying to be derisive ?Is that supposed to be the samba or the salsa or what?? to which I answered ?To the untrained eye it doesn?t matter.?
And then I started dancing with her friend. The look on her face when I left her alone on the floor without a word ? it was priceless!
You?ve got to make them work for your attention, and then after they?ve got it ? take it away again!
I didn?t want to be cruel though, so soon I grabbed her hand and I was dancing with the two ladies at once. After that I took my Asian lady to a sofa and we made out, which of course led to further fun later on.
You see how this works?
Let?s Put It ALL together
Ok, so now, your assignment ? go out and break into groups. The more insular the better. You don?t have to be aiming for any woman in particular ? in fact, it often will work more smoothly if you aren?t, at least until you get the hang of it.
Practice this relentlessly, everywhere you go. Get used to breaking into lots of groups until you can confidently become the life of any gathering inside of, for a large party, an hour. One thing to remember is to cycle quickly ? you need to get to know a bunch of people in a short time, and you don?t want anyone to get the negative sponge vibe off you. It?s not that you?re lonely or NEED them ? you?re just having a good time. Keeping your contact short does this best.
Once you?ve got those social skills clicking, practice your ignoring skills. This is harder than it seems, because our body language often gives us away when we?re trying our best to act nonchalant. That?s why NOT aiming works best until you?ve really mastered your non-verbal signals. Talking to friends while leaning into or facing your target doesn?t work. Talking to her over your shoulder ? or even, when she?s behind your back and you?ve cut her off from the group ? does.
Once you?ve got that down, practice the separation skills we went over before. Get these things down, and you?ll be well on your way to getting ANY woman in ANY situation attracted to you, and dealing with her one on one.
The hardest part is done.