I was just at a conference for professional speakers this last week where the goal is to continue to learn about communication and the business and skill of speaking. One of the general session speakers was Gary Smalley who is an expert on relationships.
Mr. Smalley has several books as well as audio and videotapes to help couples communicate better. His main point when he spoke was one that I’ve been supporting for all the years I’ve dated and been involved in relationships of all kinds. The main ingredient to success in relationships Mr. Smalley advises is this: Honor.
Honor is the main thing that a person must give to another person if they want a strong and lasting relationship. He has spent years learning this simple truth and here you get it free and easy!
Why don’t we honor other people as we should? Here are several things to think about and hopefully if you see yourself in this article you will rethink the way you communicate and honor not only the people you date, but also everyone you meet.
We’re too concerned with ourselves.
I have heard many times from a variety of people that they are not going to respect someone because that person doesn’t respect them. Well, someone has to start it, why not you? If you would just begin to honor people by using manners and kindness you will be amazed at how much more respect you get and how easy it is to relate and meet people. The minute you focus outside yourself is the minute you will see how easy it is to improve your life.
The motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, who was also at this conference, repeated his mantra again, “You can get anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want!” It’s a true statement and one that you should think about if you want good relationships with people.
We’re frightened that we will look foolish.
What if my date thinks I’m stupid or foolish? What if I embarrass myself in front of him or her? Concentrating on these things will diminish the fun and prevent you from really getting to know another person. The solution is to concentrate on making the other person feel terrific in a sincere way and you won’t need to worry about making a fool of yourself because they will be so flattered by your presence and attention. Also be quick to laugh at yourself if something unexpected happens. Those that can laugh at themselves make others feel comfortable and tend to draw people to them.
We’re lazy about our manners.
You may not be guilty of this but I know I have been. I’ll forget to say please when I ask my husband for something or I’ll forget to thank him for something he has done for me. Sometimes when we’re in a relationship for a long time, or even a short time, we get lazy about common courtesies. It’s important to remember that these little things are the easiest way to show another honor and respect.
When was the last time you sent a thank you note to a date? Or even your mate? These little things can do wonders for a relationship and also increase the self-esteem of the one receiving your note. If you can’t remember when you last sent a thank you note or even a small “thinking about you” note then it’s been too long.
People love to get notes, love letters and things they can reread and keep. Send some to honor those people you love. Send a lot of notes, they are cheaper when you buy in bulk anyway!
You will show honor by doing the little romantic things that your date or loved one likes. You will become a better person if you think of others before yourself and you will have extremely happy times if you use your manners and stop worrying about looking foolish.
Human beings share a need to be loved and to give love. Send a note or flowers to someone today or just call them and tell them you are glad that they are in your life, you’ll be surprised at how happy it will make both of you.
Blessings, Peace & Joy!