The Psychology of Romance

The Psychology of Romance

Much debate has gone on and continues today about what is
romantic? We can’t seem to agree, because everyone views
romance differently. The differences not only exist between
men and women, but each woman and each man also has their own
idea about what is romantic.

For example: a woman receives one long-stemmed rose. Romantic?
One woman will be thrilled, thinking it a wonderful and tender
gesture. Another woman will think it’s cheap, and she should
have gotten a dozen of them if the man was really serious.

Another example: someone suggests to a man that he take his
love out to a candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Romantic? One man will think so–candles, nice clothes, good
food, cozy atmosphere. Another man will view it as a stuffy
evening–having to endure wearing an uncomfortable suit and
tie, searching for a parking place (or hoping the valet doesn’t
wreak the car), and praying that his credit card goes through
when the bill arrives.

How then can we plan romance when there are such differences?

You have to understand the psychology of your mate and how
he/she thinks. The only way to properly do that is through
communication. Don’t worry about taking the surprise or
spontaneity out of things. It’s better to know what the other
person will enjoy, than planning an evening that bombs.

If you do want to surprise your partner, you can talk about
what’s romantic several weeks before you plan anything or
even make it a regular conversation. Then when they least
expect it, choose something they’ve told you they find
romantic and spring it on them.

And when you’re discussing romance, don’t be too surprised at
what others find romantic.

One man may prefer to barbecue hamburgers and watch the sun
set; another to eat a gourmet meal and watch a foreign film.
One woman may prefer to stay at home and listen to romantic
music on the stereo; another to go to the symphony.

Everyone thinks differently. If you remember that and put
in a little effort, then planning a romantic evening becomes
easy.


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Ruth is the writer of historical and contemporary romances, and webmaster of Addicted-to-Romance.com.

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