Article written by Sarah Dillon
Trust is the foundation of a good relationship. People who trust each other are happy together. They know that the other person is doing what is in both people’s best interest. There are fewer disagreements and fights. They are in accord in all of their decisions and efforts.
But when that trust is lost, the balance of the whole relationship is off. Gaining the trust back is the first step to rebuilding a relationship.
1. Admit Fault
No matter what happened for the trust to be lost, the first and most powerful step to regaining it is to admit being at fault. Do not attempt to justify your actions and definitely do not try to blame it on someone else. You have control over everything that happens to you in life.
It may not be easy, but stepping away from a situation that threatens your relationship is always an option. Be humble in this process, and do not be surprised if it is not as graciously accepted as you may have hoped.
2. Be Patient
The next step is to remain patient. You never know how long it takes for someone to heal from being let down and disappointed, so do not rush it. This will only tell them that you have no idea what pain you have caused them.
Had you not abused their trust in the first place, they would not be in this position. There is no rule book on how to give someone your trust back and forgive, so do not put someone in this position then expect them to act like you would. They need time to rebuild the feelings that gave them the faith to take this journey with you. Give it to them.
Empathizing with your significant other can help quicken this pace. If you constantly disagree with the feelings they have toward your action, it only takes longer. Show you understand that you are wrong and that their feelings are justified.
Start regaining your partner’s trust by doing what you say you are going to do.
If you can commit to not hurting them again, do so and follow through. But if you cannot, do not waste their time and feelings. Otherwise, be where you say you will be, consider their feelings, ask their opinion, and put yourself in their position. If need be, consider counseling. Having a third party assess the situation and offer advice can be fruitful.
Regaining another person’s trust is not an easy task.
In fact, it will be harder to regain it than it was to initially gain it. Put in the necessary work and be sensitive to their feelings, and the relationship will once again blossom.