20 Questions to Greater Intimacy

20 Questions to Greater Intimacy

Whether you’ve been with your partner for many years or you’re just starting a new relationship, building true intimacy is crucial in developing a strong and loving relationship. Often we work hardest to develop intimacy in the initial stages of a relationship, and become somewhat lax in our efforts in the ensuing years.

For those couples just starting out, sharing your deepest thoughts, fears, hopes and desires brings you closer together and helps to form strong and lasting bonds. As relationships continue to develop – couples marry, have children and become more involved in their careers, it’s important to continue working at building intimacy. This helps us as couples to stay connected and adds to the security, happiness and fulfillment of the relationship.

It might sound a bit comical, but by playing a simple game which has been around forever, it’s easy and fun to build intimacy. Remember the game Twenty Questions? We’ve all played it in one form or another. This can be a terrific tool in helping even the most reserved to open up to their partners.

Twenty Questions is a very easy and straight-forward game to play. Each person takes a turn asking a question which must be answered honestly and as completely as possible by their partner. You can take turns asking questions – one at a time, or you can each take a turn asking all twenty questions in a row. The key is to ask open-ended questions – questions which cannot be answered by a simple Yes or No. Moreover, taking time to develop great questions will only serve to make the game more interesting and revealing.

Even those who have been together for many years are often amazed by what they learn about their partner in playing this game. Past experiences and memories are often revealed, deep thoughts and emotions can be brought to the surface, a issue or desire may be shared, etc.

The point, whether you use this technique or not, is to continue to communicate on a meaningful level. We never stop growing and are forever changing, making it that much more important for couples to share their deepest thoughts, fears, and needs with each other on a regular basis. Those couples who work to build intimacy find their relationships much more loving and rewarding, and as such, enables them to better deal with the occasional problem or issue that comes along in all relationships.

If you feel your relationship lacks intimacy or you’re looking for a bit of a tune-up, plan an evening alone, put on some soft music, cuddle up next to the fire, take out your list of questions, and play a game for love.


Editor’s Note:

For a huge list of questions visit 1000 Questions For Couples. Covers lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more.


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T.W. Winslow lives in the Pacific Northwest (USA), and writes a weekly column - Passing Thoughts, which is published on web sites, in electronic magazines and various print media around the world.

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