Glamour galore! There are more beauty products peddled today than the
number of stars in the Little Dipper and if it keeps going like this the
Big Dipper won't be far behind. With all the choices of perfumes and
potions to make a woman beautiful, appealing and polished it seems
almost unnecessary to go over great grooming tips for dating girls. In
last weeks column I hammered on the guys so this week the girls get some
tips that a person can take or leave but from the mail I get grooming is
definitely on the mind of those who are looking for relationships. If
ever there was a sticky situation it's the differences in what we accept
as good grooming from each other. So here's some helpful items that have
nothing to do with the latest beauty products, the hottest smells or the
newest trend in hair length and instead concentrate on some of the most
basic and probably the most vital aspects of grooming when you want to
get close. As always, I welcome your comments and suggestions since
we're all here to learn.
1. Be Clean.
This is the same thing I said to the guys but for the ladies it goes
just as importantly at the top of the list. Being clean is a subjective
thing so let's break it down. Wash your whole body including inside your
ears, between your toes and any other part of your anatomy that has
flesh close to flesh that tends to be un-fresh! What a way to say wash
everywhere! That goes for both women and men.
I know a woman who I'm certain showers every day and keeps a clean and
well-organized wardrobe but she has dirty ears. I don't know if she just
doesn't take a wash cloth to them or if makeup gets in as she applies it
in the morning but she has short hair and I can see inside her ears on
occasion and it isn't a pretty sight. Of course I love her anyway and
its not a big deal, but then again I'm not dating her nor do I want to
kiss around that area. Get a scrub brush and get that skin clean and
shiny, then put some lotion on your limbs to keep them soft and healthy.
When we bath every day we rob our skin of some of those natural oils so
if you do shower each day then make sure you replenish your skin.
Note: Some people don't shower or bath each day, some people hate baths
while others would never dream of stepping into a shower when a bath
would do. I'm open on all of these things but it still remains that
being clean is important. So if you don't shower each day then at least
do a sponge bath on any areas that perspire. I would recommend highly to
always under all circumstances bath or shower just before a date. Give
your date the best and cleanest you have to offer.
2. Naked skin wins!
The only good way to use fragrance is on the naked skin. Even if you go
a tad bit on the heavy side it's covered by your clothing and only
really releases when you need it as your body heats up throughout the
day. It spoils your clothing to spray fragrance on after you're dressed
and the odor of your scent will be much too powerful to handle for
anyone with a sensitive nose. When dating you want the guy to want to
get close enough to smell you, not have to hold his nose when you lean
forward half an inch.
Most people who wear too much fragrance don't even realize they have that
much on since we quit smelling our own scent quickly but it's a turn off
for lots of other people, so the naked skin wins when it comes to
wearing fragrance.
3. Excess can be a mess
Any time you do things to extreme you take the risk of offending another
person and most of the time it's a sign you need more attention rather
than an attractive look. By this I mean excess of makeup or accessories
or over the top clothing. In a dating situation you are trying to build
a relationship and so the focus should be on bringing your true self to
the party. Too much makeup, accessories, loud or really suggestive
clothing makes it hard to get through to the person underneath
There are always exceptions to what I write about but we're talking
about a dating situation where you want to build something with one
other person and the best place to start is at the base which is you and
not the excessive trappings some people wear to protect themselves.
How much is enough?
When you use makeup it is to enhance your appearance and not hide it. Accessories should compliment the clothing and body, they should not have you as a walking
display case.
Also when your clothing accentuates your best assets and makes you feel
wonderful, not to draw attention to certain parts you'd like stared at
by strangers.
Wardrobe is a whole different article but I hope you get the idea that
everything we put on should enhance who we are.
4. Clip, Shave and Shine.
I already went over cleanliness now I get to mention the little pesky
things that are paramount if you want to appear finished and pulled
together. Have your hands looking good. That means your nails trimmed
and clean. The polish, if you wear it, new and not so bright you could
find them from 50 yards away in the dark. I don't think a woman has to
paint her nails to appear finished but she needs to have well kept hands
if she wants someone to hold them. I do think that bare nails are a
better look than chipped and peeling nail polish. If you paint your
nails keep a small bottle of remover in your bag or car so you can take
if off if they start to look shabby.
Shave those parts of the body that are normally associated with smooth
skin. Under your armpits, on your legs at least from the knees down and
around your bikini line if you're going to be prancing around in a
bathing suit. Unwanted hair is a huge turn off for both men and women.
5. Basic Stuff
Brush your teeth and, as someone helped me with recently, also your
tongue where the real bad breathe begins. Make sure you carry mints in
your bag. Don't wear so much lipstick that it gets on cloth napkins or
smears all over your glass when you take a sip. Eating together are some
of the most romantic times and it could be dampened with a lipstick ring
glaring from a glass. Have your clothing fresh and clean and don't wear
something that will make you are your date uncomfortable. Sometimes
showing a lot of skin on the first date is extremely uncomfortable since
where do you look? How do you react? Also getting cold and having your
nipples showing through your shirt could be a message you don't want to
send on a first date. Since we never really know about the weather bring
some extra things so you can layer items of clothing over what you have
on or take some things off and still be appropriate. Don't lead your
date on to think you're some hottie when really you just wanted him to
admire your tan. People can get the wrong impression quickly and it's
important you don't send the wrong signals.
If you think about your grooming from head to toe and everything in
between you'll be fine and make a fabulous first impression. I know
there are lots of styles and events to choose from when your dating but
how you groom yourself when going out with someone says a lot about you
and also a lot about how you feel about them. Honor your date with your
appearance, it's the first gift you'll give.
Shawna Schuh is a motivation speaker, etiquette educator and author. She has authored several booklets on etiquette, including: "The Art of Chit Chat", "Great Grooming Tips", and "Courtesies around Cuisine".
Click here for more information
