Talk about Yourself

Take as much time as you need to build your profile, there is no need to rush through this process. Read each section carefully and be sure to give as much information as you can. In the “talk about yourself” section be sure to have more then just a just couple sentences. You must remember that potential dating partners are reading this info to get a feel of whether or not the two of you might “hit it off”. So tell them about yourself. Your likes, your dislikes etc.

Be Specific

You want to standout from the crowd. There are lots, and I mean lots of “I’m a 26 year old SWF/SWM who likes movies and swimming”. You need to be more specific so you can create an interest in you. After all you are creating a sales page for yourself. What are your favorite movies, t.v. shows, music, singer, group, etc? Do you have any hobbies? Play sports? Yes? Then tell people about it. Do you have a great sense of humor? Then show people that great sense humor.

Be Positive about Personal Ads

Remember that being negative is not an attractive trait in a date. Be positive about yourself. You really don’t want to say things like “I’m doing this on a dare” or “I’m just trying this out for the hell of it”. You won’t be taken seriously with this type of comment. And, don’t be concerned about looking for a date or romance online, you won’t be thought of as being desperate. Just like you, 61% of American Singles will look for a date online this year. That’s a lot of dates! So project a Happy you, sadness isn’t an attractive trait either.

Be Honest about Yourself

You can say you are as funny as Jim Carey or as hot as Pam Anderson, but if you’re not your potential date won’t be impressed. Remember that there is always the possibility you will take you online romance offline and meet face to face. So be honest, you’ll get great dates just being yourself.

Use a Spell Checker!

There is nothing worse than reading a profile of someone you think you might be interested in and very fourth word is incorrectly spelled. Sure, we’re not all great spellers, but you know that squiggly red line under half of your text, well, it’s there for a reason. Create your text in a word processor, then copy and paste it into your profile. This way you can save it and use it again if you sign up for more than one dating site. It will also allow you to tweak your profile from time to time.

Include a Photo

This one is a given – Upload a photo or two. As part of your profile, the photo is one of the most important parts. If you decide not to upload a photo, again you will not taken seriously. Even if you don’t consider yourself terribly attractive, believe me there are hundreds of people out there who will. Just think about this, When you’re reading someone’s profile, how important would it be to see a photo of that person?

Well, what you have above are the basics. You’re ready to get started. Hope these tips will help you to create an eye (date) catching profile.

Good Luck!

Article Source: iSnare.com

Maybe you’re in bar. Maybe you’re at the gym or laundromat. Maybe she’s
someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you’re actually out on a date.

In any event, now you’ve got to do something scarey, something
unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end
one before it even gets started. YOU’VE GOT TO TALK TO HER.

What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your
therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can’t think of
anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the
"right" thing to say? Do you have a clue?

Most guys don’t. When your average gent converses with a woman, he’s
basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will
"connect" with the woman and make her fall for him.

Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things.

You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works and what
doesn’t, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don’t want to leave her
feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.

And that’s what we’re going to discuss right now.

Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular article
focuses on the conversational TOPICS that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful
lady. Those topics which will almost GUARANTEE increased interpersonal attraction. Topics
which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the
option, IF YOU SO DESIRE, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic
relationship.

Are you getting excited?

Okay, so WHAT exactly do you talk about?

Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently err by talking
TOO MUCH. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore
women to tears. They think they’re "impressing" the women when, in reality,
they’re "depressing" the women.

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you’re
saying doesn’t necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while
silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away… and
never come back.

So key number one is DON’T TALK SO MUCH! Try not to monopolize the
conversation and try to LISTEN to what SHE has to say. Remember, everyone is incredibly
interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves
for as long as you will listen.

So stop worrying about what you’re going to say next. Focus all your
attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying to you. Try to visualize or
"feel" what she’s saying.

This does take a little effort. It’s not very hard to do, but it’s not
something that men "naturally" do. You simply have to concentrate.

Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any
"seeds" or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle
hints that women give that point to conversational topics that they would like to or be
willing to discuss.

An example:

Bob: You come here often?
Kim: Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florida.
Bob: Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It’s pretty crowded tonight.

Bob is clueless.

Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It’s almost as
if she’s testing him to see if he has the intelligence or social skills to capitalize on
what she says. Bob fails.

So what would be the "right" thing to say?

Well… she mentions that this is her first time in the club and she just
moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly "watered the seeds" by asking
a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How
long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there?
f) What’s it like there?

Kim’s two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up on.
Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated that she’d like to talk
about. But Bob was too worried about himself. Too worried about the impression he was
making. Too worried about what to say next to LISTEN to what she said.

Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what
she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry
about what to say next because the other person is "telling" you exactly what to
say.

Kim even subtly indicated that she was attracted to Bob (or at least not
repulsed by him). How? She didn’t blow him off. She gave him some free information to talk
to her about. This may have been a conscious decision on her part or it may have been a
somewhat unconscious act. In any event, Bob didn’t pick up on it and blew his chances with
her.

Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to get to know you
better, she will GIVE YOU free information to follow up on. She will throw out some seeds
for you to water. If she’s not attracted to you, she won’t give you much of anything and
it will be very difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her. No matter how
charming you are, if she doesn’t "help you out some" you’ll eventually have to
admit defeat and walk away.

So be sure to listen for the topics she’d like to discuss.

Now in order to converse for maximum attraction, you need to keep two
other things in mind. You need to tell her about yourself. And you need to maintain a
proper talk/listen ratio.

You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about
themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if
you want others to like you. This is true… to a certain extent.

People DO like to talk about themselves and they DO like those who listen,
ask questions, and seem interested in what they’re saying.

But…

If you’re goal is to charm this lady, you’ve got to do more than that.
You’ve got to tell her something about yourself. Specifically, you’ve got to "tell
her" that YOU TWO ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE.

You do this by making "me-too" statements.

That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you
can relate yourself to something she’s talking about or make yourself seem similar to her.

For example:

Kim: I really miss Miami.
Jim: I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I loved it. Even thought about
moving there myself.

Jim is smooth.

Jim didn’t ask a question (this time). He told Kim something about himself
that made him seem similar to her. Now if Jim has also been listening and asking
questions, then he’s probably doing very well with Kim.

A good talk/listen ratio would be around 40/60 or 30/70. That is, you want
to spend around 30 or 40 percent of the time talking, and about 60 to 70 percent of the
time listening. And you should spend as much of that 30 to 40 percent as possible in the
"me-too zone."

Think about it this way…

Let’s assume you just went on a dinner date with a lady you like very
much. If you monopolized the conversation and spent most of the time telling her how
"wonderful" you are, you can pretty much expect there won’t be a second date. I
hope you can understand this.

On the other hand, imagine you’d spent the entire two hours together
sitting there, listening, and asking her questions. You probably did much better. She did
seem happy. She did seem to enjoy the conversation. But still…

After the date she’s going to go home and think about the date. And she’s
going to think about you. She’s going to think about whether she should spend more time
with you or not.

The fact that you haven’t said much of anything all evening is going to be
your downfall… BECAUSE SHE HAS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT.

You haven’t told her anything about yourself. She still has no idea if she
should be interested in you or not. She knows you don’t monopolize the conversation and
you’re a good listener. And she likes that. But that’s not enough to spark any kind of
emotion in her.

Now imagine you’d spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to her
(really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling
her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two
of you seem very similar.

This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink, and
starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she’s going to have something substantial to
think about. She’s going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn’t
monopolize the conversation. You didn’t bore her with details of your job, your childhood,
or the health of your colon.

And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how
similar the two of you are, she’s going to think that you are very SPECIAL. (After all,
you’re just like her. You must be.)

People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar
to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever,
intelligent, charming, and likeable… because you’re like me.

(It’s true that opposites do SOMETIMES attract. But only under certain
situations. On the other hand, similars ALMOST ALWAYS attract. You should always go for
the similarity angle during the first part of a relationship. You’ll can reveal to her
your "unique" qualities later.)

And don’t worry or feel cheated because you don’t get to talk about the
things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right during the first few
conversations or dates, you’ll have plenty of time later on to bore her with all your
"interesting" stories.

The first few conversations (dates) are critical and you have to
"play" them right. That means listening for free info, asking interested
questions, and making "me too" statements. It’s a simple 1, 2, 3.

A couple can also anticipate each other’s needs to help keep the romantic feelings and intimacy alive. A married couple has an advantage because the longer you have been with someone the easier it will be for you to anticipate her needs. For example, a man who knows that his wife prefers to drink water will be able to ask for a glass of water on her behalf at a social gathering.

Here are some examples of situations where the man is anticipating the woman’s needs:

• They are sitting at home watching a movie, she is drinking coke, and he is drinking water. When her glass is almost empty, without being asked, he goes to the kitchen and refills her drink.
• She has a bit of a cold so he grabs a box of tissues for the car on their way out the door.
• She is sick, he offers to make her soup without being asked.
• They are eating at a fast food restaurant and she has salad. While she is putting the salad dressing on the salad she starts to run out so he goes to the cash and brings her back more salad dressing (without being asked).
• She is carrying something heavy and he holds the door for her.
• She was up late the night before, so he brings her breakfast in bed.

In all these situations the woman is needing something, or will be needing something, and her boyfriend/husband helps without being asked. Because he knows her so well he knows what she likes and what she needs and he gives it to her without being asked. It really is a wonderful feeling when you get the point of knowing someone so well that you can do this…try it!

Soulmate

Remember, he’s looking for companionship not competition. He wants someone he can have fun with. A woman who will, like his dog, accept him unconditionally.

• Women have lots of best friends. Most men don’t. A man wants his partner to be his best friend. Like all best friends, you listen to his stories, laugh at his jokes, and compliment his good qualities instead of criticizing his faults.
• Let him know he can depend on you, that you’re there when he needs you.
• Men love to talk about themselves. So ask questions that will give him the opportunity to talk about his favorite subject-him.
• Want to connect with a man? Don’t try to impress him. Let him impress you. Ask him questions that will give him the opportunity to impress you. Shut up and listen! You’ll be amazed at how much being a good listener works.

Sexmate

Sex first takes place in a guy’s mind. So capture his mind and his imagination.

• Men have vivid imaginations. And since most men are visual, you want to capture that imagination visually. There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who is self-assured, but vulnerable and feminine. Men are more attracted to a woman’s attitude than her looks. Of course, who are we kidding, being gorgeous never hurt.
• The reason men love confident women is because they bring out their hunter instinct. Men love to chase, confident women love to be pursued. So let yourself be pursued and captured. Just remember to let yourself be caught S-L-O-W-L-Y.
• Men love a challenge so be challenging in the following wonderful womanly ways: Girl, be the goddess that you are. And here’s how:
  • Be playful
    
  • Be seductive
    
  • Be sexy
    
  • Be foxy
    
  • Be captivating
    
  • Be delightful
    
  • Always be feminine

Taking ALL OF THAT information from SO MANY WOMEN into consideration, I’ve pulled together some SHOCKING CONCLUSIONS regarding any “approach anxiety” you may be suffering from. Let’s just get right to the list:

1. Women Usually Have No Idea That Guys Deal With Approach Anxiety

This was a revelation that seriously fried my circuits. The first time I ever heard that most women are COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that men are generally afraid to approach women was from Emily. I thought she had to be joking. But it’s no joke. Seriously, for most women the idea of any man being “afraid” of them flat out doesn’t compute. Generally, they react with shock that guys would be too scared to talk to them…as if they’re so “dangerous” in their dresses, high heels and French manicures.

So how do these same women tend to explain away the fact that like 97% of all men can barely manage a “hit and run” compliment, if they even talk to them AT ALL? Simple…they assume guys aren’t really interested in them. That’s right…they think most guys AREN’T ATTRACTED TO THEM.

2. Women Are Literally Stir-Crazy Because You Won’t Approach Them

Somewhere along the line we as guys developed what can only be described as an “us vs. them” mentality when it comes to women. All over the Seduction Community you read subtle communication that MOTOS (members of the opposite sex) are somehow the “enemy”, requiring that we “target” them with various tactical schemes, etc. Thinking of women as some sort of “non human” species who can’t be figured out may soften the blow of rejection a bit by giving us an easy excuse.

In other words, if you don’t see a woman as simply another human being to be social with, then it somehow doesn’t hurt as bad when that social interaction doesn’t end well. But as much as we pretend that women are some “alien” creatures (from Venus, perhaps?) who are hard-wired to make life difficult for men, here’s the disarmingly simple truth: Really, every woman is VERY HUMAN, just like you. If she wins the lottery, she’ll be happy. If her dog runs away, she’ll be sad. In fact, the only REAL differences are based on the fact that that SHE’S feminine, and YOU’RE masculine. And she WANTS TO MEET a guy like you EVERY BIT AS MUCH as you want to meet a woman like her. In fact, she’s at a total lost (like Kya) as to why you aren’t introducing yourself to you.

Oh, by the way, if you think women are ever going to start “making the first move” on your behalf, you’ve still got to learn about how women DEMAND a guy who can LEAD. Which brings us to the next point…

3. You Pretty Much Control The Tone Of The Interaction

That’s right, women not only respond POWERFULLY to leadership from a man, the highest quality women DEMAND IT. And sure, women look at how much ambition you have as an indicator of your long term leadership skills, but even in the moment a woman is ALWAYS looking to you to TAKE THE LEAD. I hope it comes as no surprise to you that as you lead in ANY SITUATION, women follow. So it follows logically that if you are all wadded up in nerves and tripping all over yourself when meeting a woman for the first time, SHE is going to start feeling insecure also.

If you’re nervous and awkward, she’s going to respond to you in kind. And raise you hand if you already know that making a woman feel INSECURE in your presence is basically the fast-track to getting NOWHERE with her. Here’s the crazy part, though. Sure, women might expect some “nervous energy” when meeting you, sort of in line with that anticipatory adrenaline rush that goes with meeting someone exciting and new. But remember, women generally are OBLIVIOUS to approach anxiety’s basic existence.

So what is she thinking when you’re completely freaked out? She’s likely to assume that’s your AUTHENTIC self. She’s likely to think that’s how you ALWAYS ARE in social settings. Meanwhile, if you are confident socially and EXPECT to be treated well by any woman you meet, it’s amazingly predictable how often women will be COMFORTABLE WITH YOU, and treat you in the manner you feel you deserve.

And that leads to this…

4. Most Women Are Only Rude To Guys Who Are Rude To Them First

I recently heard there are at least a few pickup artists out there teaching that if a woman DOESN’T respond to you with a look of total shock and/or disdain when you approach her, you’re probably doing something “wrong”. My first thought upon hearing this advice was that I haven’t experienced that scenario since about tenth grade. NOT EVEN ONCE. And yet, I’ve met PLENTY of women. And it has usually gone very well. Go figure.

Guys, once again women are HUMAN. And they respond to YOUR LEADERSHIP. If you’re rude to them, it is NOT going to end well for you…especially if it’s a high quality woman you are dealing with. If you approach women in an overbearing, obnoxious or flat-out arrogant manner, expect to be responded to in kind. It’s really as simple as that. Want to engage in some playful banter if she seems to have that kind of personality? That’s different. But don’t expect to insult a woman’s person OR her intelligence and create attraction. This is not rocket science.

5. There’s A VERY GOOD Reason Why Many Women Think Most Guys Are Jerks

Having read the previous four points, my educated guess is you can see this one coming. It’s basically the logical conclusion to the discussion. Why do so many women think so many guys are “I/Js” (“Idiot/Jerks”)? Because those are the ONLY GUYS who sack up and approach them.

Seriously, most of us are extra careful not to “bother women”. We may be utterly scared of rejection at our core, sure enough. But what keeps us from EVER EVEN TRYING to overcome that fear is that we want to be POLITE. We don’t want to alarm or startle women by being a “stranger” who approaches. We tell ourselves we’re being respectful to women by honoring their space and their privacy. So then, what happens? Some of the most well-meaning guys are literally “hidden” from a woman’s social experience.

Meanwhile? It’s often the guy without any regard for social constraint, “sensitivity training”, sexual harassment manuals, or even what others think of him AT ALL who ends up being the one guy in fifty who actually APPROACHES any particular woman.

It’s that brash disregard for social skill that causes such a guy to not give a rip about outcomes. He may even THRIVE on getting negative reactions from people (i.e. women). So guess what? Women tend to meet a LOT of guys like that. And it can’t help but cause women to feel as if that’s what MOST guys must truly be like. After all, it’s what most guys who THEY MEET are like! But even so, most great women suspect there’s MORE. Like Kya, they simply want the high-quality guys to MAKE THEMSELVES KNOWN.

Basically, women encounter VERY, VERY few guys who can pull off that magical balance of being BOLD enough to approach her, yet MAN enough to make her feel secure in his presence. Yet, that’s the ONE GUY they ALL DREAM ABOUT meeting. That’s the guy they so very much crave a MOVIE MOMENT with.

Will this information empower you to meet MORE women while feeling LESS anxious about it? It most definitely should. But as I often say to guys on coaching calls, I can pack your parachute and teach you how to “arch, look, reach and pull”. But it’s YOU-and ONLY YOU-who ultimately makes the decision to jump out of the plane.

So you can stand at the doorway and look nervously at the Wild Blue Yonder, or you can take the leap…and feel the rush that goes with it. The difference here, however, is that when it comes to interacting with women, there’s no parachute involved. You’re the only moving part that can “fail to deploy” in this case. Don’t do that to yourself.

You could surprise your partner with this, or plan it together. Bring a blanket, finger foods (berries, raw vegetables with dip, chips, shrimp, pieces of fruit, etc.), a tape or CD player with batteries and romantic music, your favorite drinks and fly repellent. Great places for picnics are secluded fields, beaches at sunset, beside a lake or pond or under a tree. If you want to suprise your partner, set up the picnic ahead of time and ask your partner to go for a walk with you, make sure the walk leads to your picnic and let him or her discover your treat.

I live in a city where the “World Famous Reversing Falls” is located. I don’t know if it is really “World Famous” but all my life I’ve driven by it quite frequently…it wasn’t until two summers ago that I actually went and visited it from a tourist’s perspective. Something I’ve done in the past is to call the local tourist bureau and ask for ideas of places to go, they can be very helpful.

If you don’t have your own rollerblades there are places where you can rent them by the hour. Call a sports store and inquire about this, they may know the number to call.

Unless you know someone with horses you will probably have to go on a guided ride…you won’t get privacy but it is still fun.

Depending on where you live there might be places that rent cabins by the night. The cabins usually have fireplaces, nearby lakes (to fish in, swim in or canoe in) and nature trails.

Yes, “together”. What a great way to bond, you can talk about your day, or anything for that matter, and even play with your food. Mix up some cake batter and lick it off each other’s fingers.

Not familiar with this game? You take turns asking each other: “Truth, Dare, Double Dare?”, the other person picks one. If they pick “truth” you get to ask one question that they have to answer, if they pick “dare” you dare them to do something, and double dare means that you both have to do whatever is chosen as a dare. This is only limited by your imagination, for extra creativity you can add consequences…if one of you won’t do the dare or answer the question then you suffer whatever (fun) consequence you’ve come up with ahead of time.

Try “Chicken Soup for the Couple’s Soul“, or any of the Chicken Soup books for that matter.

You could shop, sightsee or visit friends.

This means no tent or tarp over you head.

If you don’t have a canoe, many camp grounds will rent them out. Exploring islands is very fun!

These are fun with a group of friends or you can have a private barbeque for two.

Then go home and make a pie.