So, you’re out there, looking for romance. It’s not easy, either. How sure are you that you’re looking in the right place? Maybe while you’re busy trying to meet people at the laundromat, Mr. or Miss Right is at work. Think about it. Romance can come from anywhere. Finding it is the hardest game you’ll ever play. And more often than not, it shows up where you’re not looking for it. That can really suck.

I’m not one who believes a lot in luck or fate, but you can’t deny that some of the most romantic stories you’ve ever heard happened by chance – the guy who met his wife at the party he wasn’t supposed to go to, or the woman who met the love of her life in the garage on the one day she decided to drive to work. So, as an idea, luck has some merit.

Just great. So you DO have to be lucky to find love.

Not really. Unlike horse racing, this is one of those areas where you can make your own luck. All you have to do is be in the right place at the right time. Sounds easy enough, right?

So, where do you look for romance?

Nowhere. And everywhere.

It’s that simple. I’m not saying to walk around with flowers and candy on standby. Do you really want to sit back in a rocking chair someday and tell your grandkids that you were trying to pick women up at the bookstore when you met Grandma? Doubtful. I’m also not saying to sit around at home and give up on meeting people. Just realize that romance can be just around the corner, or at your doorstep. You just have to be willing to walk into it or open your door.

Dating services, as cheesy as they are, have been known to work once in a while. So have personals ads and meeting people on the Internet. Now, I’m sure you’re making a face. Shaking your head and thinking that only losers sink that low. And that any of those three is a sure-fire way to meet some psycho or freak. But I’m sure you know someone who tried the traditional ways of meeting people and still met weirdos and freaks. If you’re alone and don’t want to be, this is really no time to be stubborn. If you’re at your wit’s end, you may want to give them a try.

The other thing you may have to throw out are your rules – you know the ones –

• “I’ll never date a short guy.”
  
• “I don’t date at work.”
  
• “I won’t go out with anyone I meet at the supermarket.”

If you accept that finding love is at least partly luck, you’re not helping yourself by eliminating sides of the dice you’re rolling. Your lover man may be in the cube next to you, or half an inch shorter than you’ve always dreamed. Your dream girl may be the bartender instead of the cutie on the dancefloor. Keep your eyes and your mind open. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find romance, or love, but it will definitely increase your chances.

So keep looking where you’re looking. And where you’re not looking. Leave yourself open, but don’t look desperate. That’s never good.

Oh, and if you happen to meet a few psychos along the way, don’t give up.

And don’t blame me.

Test his/her Personal Space

Everyone has something called “personal space”. It is like a bubble around us that we don’t like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that bubble disappears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won’t jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won’t step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don’t ask them to move over. We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so.

So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their “personal space” and monitor their reaction. If they move away, heed it as a warning and don’t try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.

Observe Their Body Language

Is your friend exhibiting flirtatious behaviour with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance? Do their pupils dilate when they see you? Science has found that our pupils dilate when we are looking at someone or something we are attracted to.

Watching out for flirtatious behaviour is a good method, but it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be miscontrued as flirting.

Touch his/her Hand

Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand possible. If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?

You could also try placing your hand very near your friend’s hand and watch to see if they move theirs away. If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their DVD or CD player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons. It would be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.

Watch for Changing or Strange Behaviour

Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in?

Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne…things you’ve only see him do when going on a date with other women?

Listen to What they Say

It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don’t like us and really play up any signs that they do. If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren’t interested in taking the friendship further.

“It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend.”

“I really like this guy/girl from work, we went out last night….”

“There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?”

“I’m so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary.”

“I have a friend who I’de like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!”

As we sit by the phone, waiting for that second date call (or call-back) we first begin to doubt the efficiency of the phone company. Then we start to wonder if Mr./Miss Right had to suddenly leave the country in the middle of the night, without a chance to call. Then, realization hits. You’re not going to hear from them, and you wonder how you could have had such a magical experience, while they, clearly, were unimpressed.

Fortunately, there are some clues to help you figure out if your first date is really a heart-to-heart connection, or a just one-sided illusion. Next time you’re on a first date, keep an eye out for these telltale signals:

Give ‘em a Body Check:

When to people are really making a connection, their bodies line up (toe to toe, heart to heart, face to face) and they tend to mimic each other’s gestures and voice levels. Which means if your date is soft-spoken and you’re a shake-the-walls loudmouth, you’ll both instinctively feel that something is a bit off-kilter.

Signs your date is going well:

Watch to see if you find your date is mirroring your gestures, a strong indicator that the date is on-track. Another positive signal is if your date is leaning towards you as you speak. Other good signs to watch for including nodding and tilting the head to the side as you are speaking, an indicator your date is interested in what you have to say.

Danger sign:

If your date is crossing his or her arms while you’re speaking, it is generally a sign of resistance or anger.

Flirting or Faking?

When a date is going well, there’s bound to be a lot of flirting going on from both sides of the table. Key signs your date is interested include smiling, extended eye contact and biting or licking the lip. (theirs, not yours…) Another key signal for both sexes is low-level non-sexual touching such as a brush of the elbow, arm or leg.

Signs your date is going well:

Preening or grooming behavior (such as smoothing down clothes, reapplying lipstick, running a hand over the hair) is a clear sign someone is interested. For women, the classic flirting move is the crossing or uncrossing of the legs, while men tend to stand a little broader when they’re flirting and throw their shoulders back.

Danger sign:

Keep an eye out for flirting that isn’t accompanied by other “I like you” behaviors — this can indicate a purely sexual, not romantic interest.

Two-step on the Doorstep

Another key indicator of a successful (or bad, bad, bad) first date is drop-off behavior when the date is finished. Does your date see you into your front door, or drop you off at the curb and speed off into the night before you have a chance to say, “Thanks for the linguine” and find your keys? Another positive sign is the goodnight kiss that leaves you wanting more, but ends mutually on the doorstep. (A signal you’re both willing to save a little something for date number two.)

Signs the date has gone well:

When your date makes a specific suggestion for another date, (such as, what are you doing next Tuesday?) rather than a generic “I’ll call you” it’s a positive signal that they are definitely interested in seeing you again. Other encouraging signs include lingering after the date is clearly over (you’re in your doorway, goodnight kisses have been exchanged and he’s still hanging around on the porch…)

Danger sign:

Possibly the worst first date doorstep signal is when one person leans in for the goodnight smooch, and the other sticks out their hand for a handshake. A less-obvious sign is a quick kiss or hug, followed by a pat on the back (which can indicate discomfort with the embrace.)

As for that mystery man or woman who appears to drop off the planet after what seemed to be a perfect first date, well, we think it’s safe to assume after a few days that the poor dear was probably mowed down by a runaway tour bus, or had to leave the country due to some pressing national emergency. Don’t take it personally, just move on. And remember, it only takes one first date to meet your soul mate. (Sure, it might be one in fifty-seven, or one in six, but it only takes one.)

I’m sure you knew going into the relationship that they had kids. It wasn’t a real issue until you met them. All kinds of feelings are associated with this kind of situation. Anxiety, unease and feeling uncertain about the kind of roll you might play in the lives of this family. It can feel like an overwhelming position but one that you are considering if you have begun to contemplate your readiness.

You are with this person because there is chemistry.

A relationship with the kind of chemistry you feel with this person is hard to find. It was easy to put off dealing with the fact that children were involved at first. When your new partner was ready, you were invited to meet the kids and that’s where the reality set in.

First and foremost, you must like children!

If you generally find that you don’t enjoy children, there isn’t a very good chance you might miraculously fall in love with his or her kids. You need to see how well you get along with the children. A day at the park or an outing for ice cream is a great way for everyone to interact and feel each other out.

You will need to see how well you get along with the “ex” if he or she is involved.

In any kind of situation, the better the adults get along, the better it is for the children. You don’t have to be best friends, but to be able to acknowledge each other in greetings and exchange a few words let the kids know that you aren’t any threat to the existing structure of the family.

Finally, you need to define your role in this family.

A detailed discussion with your partner about this should clearly define any kind of expectations and limitations on your part. You should also use this opportunity to express your concerns and address them. Above all, the fact that you have reached the point of asking yourself if you can handle being with someone who has children is healthy and normal. It is a realization many people have to deal with these days. The maturity it takes to recognize and deal with the potential issues has you already taking a very positive step forward, whatever your decision might be.

Dating at work is a challenge. It’s tough. It’s work. But, it happens all the time, and it’s not a bad thing. For as scandalous as people try to make it, it’s not much different than what we were taught our whole lives.

Growing up, all the new and interesting people you met were at school. For up to 18 years, school IS your life. You start off eating and sleeping there. You work there. You play there. By high school, you’re into sports and stuff. You end up spending more time in school and with your friends than anywhere else. So, when your hormones kicked in, where did you find yourself a little boyfriend or girlfriend? Playin’ dodge ball. Sitting in the cafeteria. Going home on the bus.

Yeah. School.

From a very early age, we’re taught to work with what’s in front of us. It’s human laziness. Why go to another town or a different mall to meet a new girl when there are 400 of them at your own school? Look at that movie, “Blue Lagoon.” I’m sure that guy didn’t want to hook up with his sister, but there was no one else on the island. See what I mean?

Which brings us back to dating at work. If you’re young, single, or both, and work in a place with a lot of the same, it’s not much different than school, except you’re getting paid. You spend just as much time there, getting into little cliques and stuff. You eat lunch with a certain crowd and only at certain places. Exchange those cubes for uncomfortable desks and you’re back in 9th grade. So, eventually that cute guy in Sales or the adorable redhead in Accounting will get your attention.

Add that to some drunkenness at an office party, and BINGO.

Now, there are several pros and cons to deal with when dating someone you work with. All of a sudden, normal dating issues can cost you your job. Let’s take a look.

1. Someone who understands.

   How cool is it if you’re a biochemical engineer who can come home and talk about work with someone who understands what you’re saying? When it comes to venting, that’s a huge plus.

2. Promotions.

   Dating someone at your own level is the best bet. You make about the same, your schedules mesh, it’s all good. But, you’re always one step away from one of you being promoted, which leads to…

3. Dating your boss.

   Not only is this harassment on the boss’ part, but you’ll never be able to get so much as a good parking space without people talking about you behind your back, and sometimes, in front of it. It’s rarely worth it, unless your boss is Mel Gibson or Elizabeth Hurley. Or it’s a really GOOD parking spot.

4. Carpooling.

   This is especially great when the sleep-overs start happening. Not only do you have a great new gal or fella, you’ve got a ride to work!

5. Good days, bad days, and arguments.

   It’s pretty easy for last night’s tiff about the bills to spill over into a budget meeting the next morning – in front of 15 other people. It’s also very easy to spend your whole night talking about projects and people you both work with (see #1).

   Next thing you know, you’re “working” 24-7. Ugh. Eventually, you both have to work really hard at leaving home stuff at home and work stuff at work.

6. Nooners.

   This is the best part of dating a co-worker. You can actually sneak off into a stairwell, closet or office for a little midday smoochie-face – or more. Everyone else who wants some noontime lovin’ probably has to head all the way home. Suckers.

7. The break-up.

   Breaking up with a stranger is easy. Breaking up with the guy who makes your photocopies or brews the morning coffee can be a bit more…interesting. As in, who ordered the latte with a loogie in it? Ewww. Or even better, stories about your sexual adventures by the water cooler. How fun.

8. Sick time.

   You can never both call in sick without the rumor mill churning. So much for those “let’s stay home all day and cuddle” things. But, that’s why God invented vacation time…unless you both work in the same team or department, which, of course, can’t afford to have you both out on vacation at the same time.

9. Face time.

   You’re in each other’s faces all day at work, and then all night at home. You do the math.

Like I said, dating at work isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll be the stars of office gossip. You’ll be under a microscope. But in the end, you can’t help where you fall in love, right?

Then again, I met my fiancee at work.

1. Talk about Yourself

   Take as much time as you need to build your profile, there is no need to rush through this process. Read each section carefully and be sure to give as much information as you can. In the “talk about yourself” section be sure to have more then just a just couple sentences. You must remember that potential dating partners are reading this info to get a feel of whether or not the two of you might “hit it off”. So tell them about yourself. Your likes, your dislikes etc.

2. Be Specific

   You want to standout from the crowd. There are lots, and I mean lots of “I’m a 26 year old SWF/SWM who likes movies and swimming”. You need to be more specific so you can create an interest in you. After all you are creating a sales page for yourself. What are your favorite movies, t.v. shows, music, singer, group, etc? Do you have any hobbies? Play sports? Yes? Then tell people about it. Do you have a great sense of humor? Then show people that great sense humor.

3. Be Positive about Personal Ads

   Remember that being negative is not an attractive trait in a date. Be positive about yourself. You really don’t want to say things like “I’m doing this on a dare” or “I’m just trying this out for the hell of it”. You won’t be taken seriously with this type of comment. And, don’t be concerned about looking for a date or romance online, you won’t be thought of as being desperate. Just like you, 61% of American Singles will look for a date online this year. That’s a lot of dates! So project a Happy you, sadness isn’t an attractive trait either.

4. Be Honest about Yourself

   You can say you are as funny as Jim Carey or as hot as Pam Anderson, but if you’re not your potential date won’t be impressed. Remember that there is always the possibility you will take you online romance offline and meet face to face. So be honest, you’ll get great dates just being yourself.

5. Use a Spell Checker!

   There is nothing worse than reading a profile of someone you think you might be interested in and very fourth word is incorrectly spelled. Sure, we’re not all great spellers, but you know that squiggly red line under half of your text, well, it’s there for a reason. Create your text in a word processor, then copy and paste it into your profile. This way you can save it and use it again if you sign up for more than one dating site. It will also allow you to tweak your profile from time to time.

6. Include a Photo

   This one is a given – Upload a photo or two. As part of your profile, the photo is one of the most important parts. If you decide not to upload a photo, again you will not taken seriously. Even if you don’t consider yourself terribly attractive, believe me there are hundreds of people out there who will. Just think about this, When you’re reading someone’s profile, how important would it be to see a photo of that person?

Well, what you have above are the basics. You’re ready to get started. Hope these tips will help you to create an eye (date) catching profile.

Good Luck!

Article Source: iSnare.com

You could surprise your partner with this, or plan it together. Bring a blanket, finger foods (berries, raw vegetables with dip, chips, shrimp, pieces of fruit, etc.), a tape or CD player with batteries and romantic music, your favorite drinks and fly repellent. Great places for picnics are secluded fields, beaches at sunset, beside a lake or pond or under a tree. If you want to suprise your partner, set up the picnic ahead of time and ask your partner to go for a walk with you, make sure the walk leads to your picnic and let him or her discover your treat.

I live in a city where the “World Famous Reversing Falls” is located. I don’t know if it is really “World Famous” but all my life I’ve driven by it quite frequently…it wasn’t until two summers ago that I actually went and visited it from a tourist’s perspective. Something I’ve done in the past is to call the local tourist bureau and ask for ideas of places to go, they can be very helpful.

If you don’t have your own rollerblades there are places where you can rent them by the hour. Call a sports store and inquire about this, they may know the number to call.

Unless you know someone with horses you will probably have to go on a guided ride…you won’t get privacy but it is still fun.

Depending on where you live there might be places that rent cabins by the night. The cabins usually have fireplaces, nearby lakes (to fish in, swim in or canoe in) and nature trails.

Yes, “together”. What a great way to bond, you can talk about your day, or anything for that matter, and even play with your food. Mix up some cake batter and lick it off each other’s fingers.

Not familiar with this game? You take turns asking each other: “Truth, Dare, Double Dare?”, the other person picks one. If they pick “truth” you get to ask one question that they have to answer, if they pick “dare” you dare them to do something, and double dare means that you both have to do whatever is chosen as a dare. This is only limited by your imagination, for extra creativity you can add consequences…if one of you won’t do the dare or answer the question then you suffer whatever (fun) consequence you’ve come up with ahead of time.

Try “Chicken Soup for the Couple’s Soul“, or any of the Chicken Soup books for that matter.

You could shop, sightsee or visit friends.

This means no tent or tarp over you head.

If you don’t have a canoe, many camp grounds will rent them out. Exploring islands is very fun!

These are fun with a group of friends or you can have a private barbeque for two.

Then go home and make a pie.