Are there ‘magic’ words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?…

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get from people just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together.

So I am going to answer…”How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?”

BUT…

WARNING!

In the Magic Of Making Up System, I lay out a complete strategy.

If you use this technique alone, without an ‘overall’ plan or strategy…you may damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

What NOT to Say!

Before we get into the actual words, let’s go over what message almost NEVER works.

and worse…

Puts you in an AWFUL ‘psychological’ position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like

“John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you.”

And the EMERGENCY-

“Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this.”

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?

So, I won’t go on and on…

How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are

• Curiosity &
• Self Interest

And here’s the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work ‘magic’

So…

Let’s look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:

“Hi John. It’s Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! “What did I do?” “What does she appreciate?” he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now…

Before you call you need to do the “Set Up”…which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing…but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly…

2nd WARNING!

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out in the Magic Of Making Up System BEFORE you call.

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is…

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN!

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

1. Tip #1 – Continue dating
   Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That’s why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about dating that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.
2. Tip #2 – Delay is often better
   It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.
3. Tip #3 – Always express your love
   Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?
4. Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner
   Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.” So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.
5. Tip #5 – Answer the BIG questions
   Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

   In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s” will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

Michael Webb is the author of 1000 Questions For Couples the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

The best way to make sure someone continues to do what you like is by appreciating them when they do do it. If you let your boyfriend know that you think he is the most romantic man in the world (even if he isn’t) he will strive to be even more romantic. Not to mention that his chest will puff out in utter pride for pleasing you.

The same works for women…so often I have received compliments for this and that aspect of my personality and thought to myself ‘hmmm, I don’t think I’m really THAT generous” (or whatever the compliment was). I then want to live up to these great things that are being said about me and be a better person.

Your partner will thrive in your relationship if you give them appreciation for everything they do and everything they are. Wouldn’t you?

Here are some ways to inspire the best in your partner:

• Compile a list of things you appreciate about your partner and/or 100 things you love about your partner and watch them read it when you’re through. click here for some suggestions
• Give your wife flowers for no reason and always include a card or note with a special message. My father comes up with very creative messages for his girlfriend and just today she told me that she now looks forward to reading his cards more than getting the flowers! 
• Never stop dishing out compliments and appreciation. Your wife will be less likely to tire of cooking you supper every night if you tell her that she is the best cook and that you love her food. Likewise, your husband will feel better about taking out the trash if you remind him every single week of how much you appreciate that you don’t have to lug the heavy bags out to the end of the driveway.

Who ever gave us the idea that if we compliment our partner once or appreciate what they do just once, that that is enough to motivate them to do it for a lifetime? Men if you have trouble understanding why your wife needs repeated compliments think of how you’d feel if she never appreciated all of the things you do for her. Women, if you have trouble understanding why he needs you to appreciate and admire him, think of how you’d feel if he told you that you are beautiful the day you met…then never again.

Trust is the foundation of a good relationship. People who trust each other are happy together. They know that the other person is doing what is in both people’s best interest. There are fewer disagreements and fights. They are in accord in all of their decisions and efforts.

But when that trust is lost, the balance of the whole relationship is off. Gaining the trust back is the first step to rebuilding a relationship.

1. Admit Fault

No matter what happened for the trust to be lost, the first and most powerful step to regaining it is to admit being at fault. Do not attempt to justify your actions and definitely do not try to blame it on someone else. You have control over everything that happens to you in life.

It may not be easy, but stepping away from a situation that threatens your relationship is always an option. Be humble in this process, and do not be surprised if it is not as graciously accepted as you may have hoped.

2. Be Patient

The next step is to remain patient. You never know how long it takes for someone to heal from being let down and disappointed, so do not rush it. This will only tell them that you have no idea what pain you have caused them.

Had you not abused their trust in the first place, they would not be in this position. There is no rule book on how to give someone your trust back and forgive, so do not put someone in this position then expect them to act like you would. They need time to rebuild the feelings that gave them the faith to take this journey with you. Give it to them.

3. Empathize

Empathizing with your significant other can help quicken this pace. If you constantly disagree with the feelings they have toward your action, it only takes longer. Show you understand that you are wrong and that their feelings are justified.

Start regaining your partner’s trust by doing what you say you are going to do.

If you can commit to not hurting them again, do so and follow through. But if you cannot, do not waste their time and feelings. Otherwise, be where you say you will be, consider their feelings, ask their opinion, and put yourself in their position. If need be, consider counseling. Having a third party assess the situation and offer advice can be fruitful.

Regaining another person’s trust is not an easy task.

In fact, it will be harder to regain it than it was to initially gain it. Put in the necessary work and be sensitive to their feelings, and the relationship will once again blossom.

It is important to say I Love You with both passion and frequency. And we can say it not only with our words but with our actions, with our facial expressions and body language, even with our thoughts. Lasting intimacy comes from an everyday appreciation and a reverence for the daily moments we spend in the company of one another.

Here are 50 simple ways you can demonstrate the depth of your love. (I have used the words, ‘he’ and ’she’ interchangeably here. The following ideas are not gender specific.)

1. Write down fifty favorite memories of your life spent together so far. Invite your partner to add to the list, as well as to share special ideas for the future.
2. Leave a message on her voicemail with a silly, romantic poem. (Roses are red, violets are blue . . .)
3. Make a CD featuring the songs that have been important in your relationship. Slip it into the CD player of her car.
4. Bring homemade cookies or brownies to his office with a simple love note.
5. Spoon.
6. Surprise her with some bath salts and her favorite magazine. Then take the kids out of the house for the evening so she can enjoy some time alone.
7. Stash a love note in his shoe.
8. Spend some time talking about all the goals you have been able to accomplish during your time as a couple. Reflecting on the things that you have been able to do with the strength of the other, including the challenges, can really help you to remember and to celebrate the depth of your relationship and how you have supported one another through it all.
9. Serve her breakfast in bed.
10. Give him some time one Saturday to do something he enjoys but rarely takes the time for.
11. Buy her luxurious new silk pajamas that will make her feel treasured and cherished each time she puts them on.
12. Create a special sign (such as a specific hand gesture) that means I Love You, just between the two of you.
13. Listen without interrupting.
14. Give her a few minutes of time alone when she first gets home from work. Sometimes, we each need a bit of time to process the transition from work life to family life.
15. Watch a sporting event together.
16. Place a single daisy on her windshield.
17. Kiss.
18. Surprise him by purchasing his favorite DVD or the latest CD of his favorite vocal artist.
19. Talk lovingly about your partner to others, and avoid criticizing your mate to your friends or family. Even if your words never make it back to your partner, the tension and negative energy will eventually wedge its way between you.
20. Talk a walk together.
21. Rub his back.
22. Dance to your favorite song.
23. Re-create your first date.
24. Light candles at dinnertime.
25. Write a love note and slip it under his pillow.
26. Send a romantic text message.
27. Send flowers, just because.
28. Keep a scrapbook of your love, from first meeting through courtship, through marriage. Write a few journal entries about how your love for one another has evolved as you have grown together, and the new kinds of energy each new phase of your relationship has created.
29. Take him out to lunch.
30. Make her coffee so it is ready when she gets up.
31. Jot down 20 things you love about him and slip it under his dinner plate.
32. Cook her favorite breakfast.
33. Choose a book you both will enjoy, and read it aloud together.
34. Rent a romantic movie.
35. Slip a Hershey’s Kiss and a Hershey’s Hug into her coat pocket.
36. Write about the feelings you felt when you first met your mate. Write about the first time you knew you were in love.
37. Celebrate special days in your relationship with unique traditions and rituals.
38. Have you been holding a grudge against your partner? Today, forgive it and move on. Witness how much power the act of forgiveness injects into your relationship.
39. Rub her feet.
40. Find creative places to write I Love You: in whipped cream on a slice of pie, carved into the side of an apple, in the steam on the bathroom mirror.
41. Bring flowers to her in the middle of the day.
42. Spend a few minutes together in bed each morning.
43. Call his mother and father and thank them for creating such a wonderful son.
44. Do a chore that is typically reserved for him.
45. Tell her she looks amazing.
46. Write her a love letter and mail it.
47. If she has had a rough day at work, bring home her favorite take out and a bottle of wine.
48. Create a marquis on your screensaver that declares your love.
49. Choose your favorite photo of the two of you as a couple and frame two copies: one for each of you to take to work.
50. Play a board game or a game of cards. (Margaritas optional.)

• Read the Sunday comics together.
• Greet your mate with a kiss and “I love you” as soon as you arrive home.
• Eat dinner together at the table, instead of at separate times.
• Spend your lunch breaks together one day a week.
• Kiss at every red light.
• Create a secret word that means something for you both as a couple. It could be an acronym for a phrase that describes your relationship or feelings, such as SHMILY. Use it in cards, lovenotes, messages on the bathroom mirror, etc.. It could be a word that means “I love you”, or something you say when you want to make love. Don’t tell anyone else what your secret word means.
• Find time at the end of the day to unwind together. Take an idea from “The Story of Us” (movie) and ask what the “high and low” point of each other’s day was.
• Have a date night, or day, once a week. You don’t have to go out, and you don’t have to spend money. Click here for ideas.
• Attend church together on Sunday morning or evening. Visit different churches until you find one that you both enjoy.
• Plant a vegetable or flower garden every summer and tend to it together.
• Create affectionate nicknames for each other. nickname ideas
• Cook breakfast together on Saturday or Sunday morning. Make fancy things that you may not have had time to make, or enjoy, on hectic weekdays. Ideas: eggs benedict, omelets, blueberry pancakes, english muffins with egg, ham and cheese.
• Create a secret signal that you can use in public to convey a message. The message might be “I love you” or “You look beautiful”…
• Wake your partner up in the morning with kisses.
• I heard of a couple that took their honeymoon in Italy, after they got back just the thought of Italy brought warm memories of romance and intimacy. So, the wife started a tradition and let her husband figure out for himself what it meant. Whenever she wanted to have a really special, intimate evening together she would cook pasta for dinner. Did you take your honeymoon at an exotic beach resort? Leave little jars of sand lying around as a signal. Did you go somewhere colder? Drape your winter jackets on the bed or couch. The possibilities are endless.

For those couples just starting out, sharing your deepest thoughts, fears, hopes and desires brings you closer together and helps to form strong and lasting bonds. As relationships continue to develop – couples marry, have children and become more involved in their careers, it’s important to continue working at building intimacy. This helps us as couples to stay connected and adds to the security, happiness and fulfillment of the relationship.

It might sound a bit comical, but by playing a simple game which has been around forever, it’s easy and fun to build intimacy. Remember the game Twenty Questions? We’ve all played it in one form or another. This can be a terrific tool in helping even the most reserved to open up to their partners.

Twenty Questions is a very easy and straight-forward game to play. Each person takes a turn asking a question which must be answered honestly and as completely as possible by their partner. You can take turns asking questions – one at a time, or you can each take a turn asking all twenty questions in a row. The key is to ask open-ended questions – questions which cannot be answered by a simple Yes or No. Moreover, taking time to develop great questions will only serve to make the game more interesting and revealing.

Even those who have been together for many years are often amazed by what they learn about their partner in playing this game. Past experiences and memories are often revealed, deep thoughts and emotions can be brought to the surface, a issue or desire may be shared, etc.

The point, whether you use this technique or not, is to continue to communicate on a meaningful level. We never stop growing and are forever changing, making it that much more important for couples to share their deepest thoughts, fears, and needs with each other on a regular basis. Those couples who work to build intimacy find their relationships much more loving and rewarding, and as such, enables them to better deal with the occasional problem or issue that comes along in all relationships.

If you feel your relationship lacks intimacy or you’re looking for a bit of a tune-up, plan an evening alone, put on some soft music, cuddle up next to the fire, take out your list of questions, and play a game for love.

Editor’s Note:

For a huge list of questions visit 1000 Questions For Couples. Covers lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more.