He wants you to dress up for him:

A long, long time ago, your husband bought you some lingerie. Remember? You wore it once or twice, then stuffed it deep in the back of a drawer. Well, the time has come to dig it out. Consider dressing for his tastes and not just yours once in a while. When you dress for him, he takes it as a sign that you still care enough to make the effort. Men are visual creatures and get a lot of sexual mileage out of what they see. So, some sexy lingerie will go a long way to rekindle the passion you share. Surprise him by slipping into something he will find exciting. And, there is something about lace, ribbons, feathers, or not-so-subtle sheer material that drives a man wild. And honestly, who can blame him? Plus, when you indulge in sexy lingerie, do not get too hung up about your appearance or stretch marks. Movies and fashion magazines may make women feel they must have taut tummies and look model-perfect, but men say they appreciate real women with foibles and imperfections. And personality counts! Your insecurity will rob you and your husband of precious moments together. So, when your husband says you look beautiful and sexy just the way you are, believe him. Dust off the lingerie and fire up the candles.

He wants you to initiate lovemaking:

If your husband is always the one to start things up, eventually he’ll wonder, ‘Why doesn’t she ever initiate lovemaking? Doesn’t she want me anymore? A man wants nothing more than to know he’s sexually desirable to you – that you want him like crazy. Guys chronically complain that they always have to initiate sex. When you take the lead, you’re explicitly telling him that you love to spend time with him – it immediately eliminates the guesswork for your guy. What’s more, when you approach him, you’re in the driver’s seat. Too many women let men call the sexual shots between the sheets. Being the initiator gives you an opportunity to set the tone and the pace.

He craves for sexual affirmation:

Men have insecurities too. They may never tell anyone this, but they are secretly vulnerable. How does a woman help change the insecurity to confidence? Affirmation and compliments! To men, affirmation from their wives means everything! So, be explicit in letting yoUr husband know what you enjoy. Men, love those kind of directions. It’s affirming for a man to know that you think he’s a great lover. When men receive regular and genuine positive attention and compliments from their wives, they tend to become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.

He wants to be your hero:

What part of a man most enjoys being stroked? Answer: His ego! Show your man that you really need him. Men, just like women, simply need to be wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired. Plus, remember to compliment your spouse on being a great husband. It’s a quick shortcut to making him feel wanted, needed and loved. And this positive reinforcement of your husband’s good behaviour will yield big dividends later, as he subconsciously tries to live up to your glowing appraisal. Here’s another secret: Pamper him sometimes. You can set a day to give him a massage, set up a hot bath, etc. What makes such royal treatment so romantic to a man is the way it reassures him that you appreciate him and that you’re proud of him. Many women today don’t realise how vulnerable men are and how much they need love too.

He wants passionate lovemaking:

Men love passionate women. Men want to be desired and loved. Letting them know that you’re passionate about them will turn them on every time and pave the way for great lovemaking. Women who are great lovers put energy in from start to finish. Plus, displaying tons of enthusiasm encourages your man to bring you to new heights. The more you get into it, the harder he’ll work to please you.

He loves unexpected touches:

Yes, it’s true. The slightest touch from you can bring a man to his knees mid-sentence. In other words, let your fingers do the talking. Even those quick bicep rubs when your man gets back from the gym, or those errant shoulder squeezes, can send your man over the moon. While coffee is pretty good, your gentle peck is really the best part of waking up. It’s as if out of the blue, you were so overcome by his breathtaking cuteness that you just had to give him a cuddle. And men adore your tender touch in the bedroom as well. Because contrary to popular belief, guys aren’t just looking for fast-track orgasmic manoeuvres in the dark. They want and need intimacy, touch and passion too..

He wants novelty:

Once a couple has been together for a while, they often develop a sexual routine. It’s not always a negative thing as it is usually mutually satisfying. So what’s the problem? There could be a new technique that one or both of you like but haven’t discovered yet. What to do? Mix things up a bit. If the bedroom is your primary lovemaking venue, why not steam things up in the shower? “And it’s worth adding some variety to the old ‘he does that, then you do this’ choreography. Swap things around or throw a new position into the mix. Make sure monogamy and monotony don’t become synonymous. The trick for a married couple is to maintain a degree of novelty, by providing variety in activity, location and type of stimulation. Many men find that experimenting with positions, styles and acts takes on a new importance as they age. They say that variation not only keeps them aroused, but it satisfies different cravings. Better sex isn’t necessarily wilder sex, after all. There are things you can do to spice up sex once in a while.

He is excited by your sexual intensity and assertiveness:

When you openly tell him what you desire and what feels good, you instantly put yourself into an active role as opposed to a responsive one. Verbal feedback is crucial to your pleasure. It helps to develop your own sexual language. Some women can’t talk dirty. And that’s okay. You should try to find a new way to let your husband know what feels great in a way that’s comfortable for you. It might be words, it might be moans, but figure out how to let him know you’re loving every minute of it or at least which minutes you’re loving.

Although a man isn’t going to pass up the chance to look at such a woman, the perfect body is not at the top of a man’s want list. You don?t have to have that perfect body if you want to enjoy great lovemaking with your man.

Here’s what men really want from their women:

Passion

Men love passionate women. A lusty interest in intimacy will wow a man every time. A blasé ¡ttitude isn’t sexy. Powerful positive emotions of love and desire are. These emotions are far more important that the packaging in which the emotions come. Men want to be desired and loved. Letting them know that you’re passionate about them will turn them on every time and pave the way for great lovemaking.

Enthusiasm

Men want women to be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is upbeat energy, and upbeat energy is electric. Bring enthusiasm into the bedroom and watch the sparks fly. Enthusiasm improve your lovemaking almost instantly

Caring

Men need their women to be caring. A man’s ego really can?t handle much criticism. Criticism, in fact, is a great way to kill ardor.

A woman who is working hard to be perfect herself tends to exact the same standards from her lover. That kind of pressure is a definite turn-off. Nurture your partner with the kind of caring you’d like to receive yourself and you’ll be amazed at the kind of gentle response you’ll get in return during lovemaking.

Kindness

Men want kindness and patience. When women go on rigid diets, they tend to get a little, ah, witchy. Men don’t like this.

Men want women to cut them some slack and treat them with the same respect that we often save for our best friends. A man who is respected and treated kindly will usually be a happy, virile man who is wonderful at lovemaking.

Playfulness

Man want women to be playful and have a sense of erotic adventure. Who wants a woman who’s all serious and hung up on getting things just right? Intimacy shouldn?t be about looking good. It’s about having fun. A woman who is willing to experiment and get silly in bed will enjoy incredible lovemaking.

Women think that men don’t want intimacy. This isn?t true. Men want it as much as women do. They just don’t like to talk about it. If you want to be close to your man, stop focusing on creating the perfect body and create the perfect atmosphere for lovemaking. he great thing about giving your man what he wants is that it will get you what you want – closeness and romance and awesome lovemaking.

This game requires a blindfold and a small amount of honey, chocolate syrup, nutella or caramel…and no clothes. Blindfold your partner, then hide a drop of honey somewhere on your body. Without using his or her hands, and without the aid of sight, your partner has to find that drop of honey…with their mouth. :)

What’s Your Fantasy?

You and your partner should each write down 5, or so, fantasies you have that could be acted out together at the time you are playing the game. Put all of the fantasies in a jar and take turns drawing from them and acting them out. If you pick one of your partner’s fantasies and do not feel comfortable doing it, tell them nicely and choose another. This game definitely makes for a fun night!

Sexy Secrets

I created a fun game to play with your lover. You can print it from the GetRomantic.com website. click here

60 Seconds in Heaven

Take turns picking an area of your body and letting your partner spend 60 seconds lavishing that spot with sensual attention: kisses, licking, nibbling, caressing. One benefit of this game is that you will learn what areas your partner is yearning to have you pay more attention to.

Sexy Dice

Get a pair of dice. On one die, use white-out to fill in the little black circles. Letter each side of the die from “a” to “f”. Write a chart on paper that associates each letter with a body part and each number (on the other die) with an action. For example:

Take turns rolling the dice (both at once) and performing the action that you get, on the body part that you get.

As a variation you could write 6 sex acts (oral sex, intercourse, making out, carressing only, fondling, strip tease) and 6 places in your house (bathroom, porch, living room, laundry room, back yard, stairs).

Strip Crazy-8’s

Similar to strip-poker, you play a hand and the loser has to take off an item of clothing. This game conforms to any card game that can be played in a small amount of time.

What am I Touching you With?

Blindfold your love and have them lie on their back or stomach without any clothes on (or with only their top removed, if you prefer). Sensuously trace over their bare skin with various objects and have them guess what you are touching them with, and tell you if they like it. Try: a pearl necklace, marbles, your hair, silk, a feather, a flower, a piece of your lingerie, a part of your body.

First to Orgasm Loses

The goal of this game is to make your partner have an orgasm before you do…whoever holds off for the longest is the winner. I recommend using the “69″ position and performing oral sex on each other at the same time.

So, here are 10 sure-fire ways to love and lust after your fella.

1. Be specific. Don’t go for the blanket statement “you’re sexy.” It’s too easy. Think about how you’d feel if that was the best he could come up with when you’re standing there nekkid. So, pick something out — “your arms are so strong. I love to watch the muscles move when you take your shirt off.” Or…”You have an incredible (butt/chest/etc.). I just wanna grab you!” See what I mean?
2. Stare. You know how to do it. The same way those construction workers watch you walk by. The same way that guy at work looks at you when you’re wearing a plunging neckline. Look him up and down. Undress him with your eyes. And let him know you’re doing it, like when he’s walking in front of you, climbing up a ladder, or just stepping out of the shower. Heck, even lick your lips and wolf-whistle if you feel like it.
3. Touch. We men don’t have the market cornered on groping. You see something you want, you grab it. There’s not a much better compliment than: “Sorry, I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself!” Run your hand up his thigh. Down the back of his neck. You know how to do it.
4. Surprise him. Call in the middle of the day, and tell him you’re already thinking about tonight. Or, that you’re still in a daze from last night. Catch him at the right time and he won’t be able to think of anything but you for the rest of the day. And night.
5. Compare. Even when you’re watching TV or reading magazines, point out to him all the guys he’s better looking/smarter/taller than (in your opinion, of course). What guy doesn’t want to hear: “I don’t see what the big deal is with Brad Pitt. You’re way hotter than he is. WAY hotter.”
6. Lingerie. No, not for you. Get him a pair of silk boxers (or boxer-briefs, if he prefers), and ask him to model them for you. Then, go back to #1 and get very specific about what you find so sexy about him in his undies. Don’t laugh. It works on you women every time.
7. Exclusivity. Nobody can touch your body the way he does. NObody else could ever make you feel that good. Nobody has ever turned you on as much as him. Get the idea? He knows he’s the only man in your world. Now let him know why.
8. Jump him. Plain and simple. This accomplishes everything you’re asking for, no words necessary. Drag him into the bedroom (or the kitchen table, on the floor, or over to the couch). Throw him down. And have at him as if he were your last meal. You’re just so turned on by him that you can’t even control yourself. Sounds like a compliment to me!
9. Write to him. An e-mail. A letter. A poem. Pour your feelings out on paper and give them to him. Love letters have worked on women for hundreds of years. Maybe it’s time the tables were turned.

10. Repeat as necessary. Find what works for you and him. Go with it. Or, mix it up a little. Keep him on his toes. He’ll never know where the next compliment is coming from. Basically, all you need to do is try new ways to stroke him (and his ego), and you’re good to go.

I’m referring to the following:

1. The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
2. The Paradox of Thinking Too Much
3. The Paradox of the Simple Moves

1. THE PARADOX OF TRYING TOO HARD

Great sex will always be about FLOW.

One doesn’t need to press for it, trying too hard on any area will cause you to mess it up and that’s a guarantee. The tragedy is that most men don’t even see this one coming and end up working against themselves and­ the harder they try, the harder it becomes.

One of the temptations of having too many tricks in the bag is to unleash them in a grand overflow and put on a show. Needless to say, you’ll reek of the “trying too hard” vibe. Instead of dazzling Eve, you’ll turn her off ­for the vibe masks a specific fear ­the fear of inadequacy, that nagging feeling of not being good enough.

You’re afraid she won’t have a great time unless you pleasure the brains out of her, so you feel compelled to unleash every physical technique to compensate for a personal issue.

Like I said, this will backfire.

You don’t need to do everything, don’t be an overeager yes-man. The rookie mistake here is trying too hard to please every woman, every time, with the hopes of being the best she has ever had. You’ll end up pleasing nobody. Instead, learn to lean back and let sexual excellence come to you.

2. THE PARADOX OF THINKING TOO MUCH

Great sex is always UNCONSCIOUS; it’s not logical or rational.

The bedroom is not the place to think, and the absolute worst time to contemplate your insecurities, sexual hang-ups and skills. Deal with them BEFORE your next carnal encounter and AFTER your last one… NEVER DURING.

Calibrate… but don’t thresh-out psychological issues in the heat of things. Self consciousness and self-talk pull you out of the moment and into a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective and out of touch.

Don’t be overly concerned with the mechanics and metrics of intercourse like the exact pressure or angle of your hand, or the direction of your thrusts. When it comes to the real thing — stop thinking — focus on your partner and immerse in the moment.

Don’t plan every move as if sex is a series of perfectly executed maneuvers. When you over-think things, you’ll mess up. The best crane operators don’t analyze every step… they just do it, the moves have become 2nd to nature.

If you think too much, I assure you that the sex will get worse, and instead of enjoying, you’ll be too busy figuring out the next best move. Just enjoy the process, take it easy and don’t be too hard on yourself.

It goes without saying that one doesn’t have to gun for sexual perfection…there’s no such thing. Afford yourself some mistakes and don’t make a big deal out of it. This is very, very important.

3. THE PARADOX OF THE SIMPLE MOVES

Great sex will always about the SIMPLE MOVES.

It is the aggregate of simple things, done in the right way and at the right time, that makes the world of difference. You have to drive that one in your head. THERE ARE NO BIG TRICKS.

This is not about big moves or magic techniques, it’s about the snowballing of easy to do maneuvers. The biggest lesson here is understanding that it’s the small things that truly matter. It’s not about making extensive changes to your game, but simply tweaking it.

It’s learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips. It’s being in-tune not just for her screams, but even to her breathing. Not just about writhing bodies but little twitches.

Great sex is simple, (and simple doesn’t mean boring), it’s not replete with shock-and-awe. The road to sexual greatness is not some hidden mythic trick, for the most elegant and effective moves have never been kept secret, they have always been there.

They just have been overlooked… if not forgotten. Being unpretentious, they easily pass off as insignificant.

So there you have it, The paradox of trying too hard, thinking too much and simple moves. Remember these three concepts when making love next time and you’ll come across much more confident, sexy and natural.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of “The Virtuoso Lover“, covering how to make men exceptional lovers. Unfortunately most men have no idea how to make ‘out-of-this-world’ love, which leaves women frustrated and disappointed.

Learn to be one of the rare men that can satisfy women both physically and emotionally by visiting: The Virtuoso Lover.

Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.

Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?

Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.

On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ‘adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 and­ 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ‘turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck, ­it will drive her wild. But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?

That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.

So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)

If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.

Wrong! While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.

Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

MISTAKE #6: Trying to finish at the same time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.

Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a set routine too often

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?

No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get too routine, which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.

That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.