Or maybe you’ve just fallen into a rut. You have sex in the same place at roughly the same time each week and do the same things. Routine is good for things like brushing your teeth but it shouldn’t come into your sex life when variety and excitement are crucial elements in making it fulfilling.

If this sounds like you and you want to kickstart your sex life back into well, life, then read on.

Be spontaneous

The element of surprise can be very seductive. Take a shower together, surprise your partner with a long passionate kiss when they are expecting to just graze lips, buy some new lingerie and wear it.

Get healthy

Eating well and regular exercise put you in better touch with your body and that inner healthy glow not only makes you look more attractive but gives you heaps of energy and makes you feel more vibrant and alive.

Be affectionate

If you haven’t had sex for awhile then it may be better to build up slowly to get back into the groove. Instead of trying to go from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into the physical by touching when you can and by being considerate with each other. Touch when you talk. Stop to kiss when you walk past each other in the hallway. Trail your finger along their shoulder as they sit reading a magazine. Snuggle on the couch in front of your favorite movie.

Be sensual

Give your partner a peppermint foot bath when they get home from a busy day. Massage their hands, scalp, back – wherever takes your fancy (if you don’t know how to massage, don’t think about it, just do what feels good). Or try a lighter touch by using a feather or silk scarf to trail along the length of your partner.

Be encouraging when your partner does something you like

Even if you’ve been together a long time your partner doesn’t always know what you like and even if they do it doesn’t hurt to tell them once in awhile. Say what you like and why you like it, if they have more information you never know what they may come up with to please you.

Read your partner an erotic bedtime story

The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow. There is some great erotic fiction around or you could try Nancy Friday for stories about other people’s sexual fantasies.

Have fun

When was the last time you laughed together? Put on your favourite track and dance. Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and play that for a trip down memory lane over dinner. Take a midnight dip.

Write a sexy letter

If you can’t tell your partner what you really want them to do to you, then writing it down is a great alternative. It lets you be as specific as you like without feeling like your face is going to turn tomato red and gives your partner time to process what you’ve said and get into the mood (if you need help putting your letter together try visiting www.loveyouletters.com for easy-to-us love templates).

Experiment

Learn a new technique together. Try a romantic weekend away. Or you could try a sex toy from one of the many on offer. If you always have sex lying down then try standing or sitting. If you’re always on top then try switching things around.

Focus on the now

When you do get down to it, it is crucial that you focus on exactly what it is you are doing. To do this you must stop the chatter within your own head. Don’t worry that you forgot to pick up the drycleaning, or how you need to call your mother about her birthday, or the fact that you’re out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it won’t seem nearly so important once you’re done.

Article Source: www.iSnare.com

So how do you find time and energy for sex when there are so many other things demanding your attention? It takes a bit more planning and effort than in the past but you need to tell yourself that it can happen and it is definitely worth it.

What if you don?t want anyone touching you after having children crawling all over you all day? Some people have a quotient for the amount of physical contact they need and can comfortably accommodate in a day. But if you think about it children touch you differently to how your partner touches you and for the most part, it?s all take.

So how do you have more sex? Okay, how do you have any sex?

Make it a priority and it will happen

Feeding the children quickly becomes a priority when you have nagging children at your feet. Make your desires like that and don?t let up until you have got what you need.

Find a time that works

It may be early in the morning before the children wake up, it may be immediately after they?ve gone to bed ignoring the dishes and the washing and cleaning up, it may be during the day while the kids are watching a video. You have to make time for each other.

Do some things that make you think about sex

It can be hard to switch your brain from babyland to sex so you may need a little help. Watch a sexy movie, read erotic fiction together, write your partner a sexy note, think back to a time when you had great sex (c?mon you can do that, it can?t be that long, surely, you have children afterall!), relive how good it felt.

Take a shower together

There is something about getting naked and wet together that can be very erotic.

Expect interruptions and don?t be put off

OK you start kissing and you hear a baby cry. You try to ignore it but you can?t. So you go off and tend to them and then think the moment is gone. But it isn?t. And if it is then get it back by viewing the interruption as a diversion which has increased your appetite for sex not soured it.

Don?t wait until you get into bed to initiate sex

When you?ve been together awhile it?s easy to fall into habits, like falling into a deep sleep as soon as your head touches the pillow, and sometimes it?s those habits that you need to break in order to kickstart your sex life. Sex can happen anywhere so make use of the spaces you have.

And the most important thing you need to do ? don?t give up!

You can find a way to make it happen. Know that your needs are important and you will function better when they?ve been met.

Article Source: iSnare.com