You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 – Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That’s why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about dating that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.” So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 – Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love yous” will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

Michael Webb is the author of 1000 Questions For Couples, the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.

Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?

Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.

On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ‘adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 and­ 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ‘turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck, ­it will drive her wild. But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?

That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.

So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)

If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.

Wrong! While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.

Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

MISTAKE #6: Trying to finish at the same time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.

Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a set routine too often

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?

No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get too routine, which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.

That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.

It is easy to come up with codes. You can use the standard 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc. or you can come up with a completely different code using letters, numbers or symbols of your own creation. If the code is simple enough, you may want to let your sweetheart try to solve it on their own or for a complicated code, you might want to send the key to the code at a different time.

You can mail the coded message, fax it to him or her at work (the co-workers will be so envious) or place it in a book she is reading. You may want to cut out letters from magazines or newspapers to address the letter or fax so she won’t recognize your handwriting. Watch out 007!

That’s why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date. And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they’re doing it right!

Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of success on your first date:

Mistake #1 – Buying Gifts

Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn’t the best idea – especially if you’ve just met the woman! She’s there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves “what does THAT mean?” And in this case it’s, “He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn’t even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.

Mistake #2 – Being Mr. Serious

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously. Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious”.

Mistake #3 – Conducting and Interview

When men become “Mr. Serious” they often fall into “job interview conversation mode.” Make sure you reserve questions like, “So where do you work?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff. Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

Mistake #4 – Being Too Needy & Direct

Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, “so do you like me?” or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake. Ironically, it’s leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman’s attention and keeps her interested.

Mistake #5 – Going to Boring Places

If your date finds the night boring, you’re finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it’s really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very “proper tone” that’s hard to turn into fun and playful. And unless you’re a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren’t the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.

So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!

You don’t have to be a Spanish dance instructor to make women melt, although it helps. Just take some cues from the guy. Before you can be a sensual lover, you have to be a sensual person, and that’s achieved in paying attention to the details. Stop and smell the roses, if you will.

Let’s say you are going to have a private dinner prepared for you by world-renowned chef Mario Batali. As you’re being served course after course of some of the finest cuisine in the world, are you going to just shovel it into your mouth in order to fill your stomach? Or are you going to savor each bite, taking in the artistry of the flavors? Option one may make you full, but you have not enjoyed the meal to its full potential.

This is all too often how men approach life, which is why they approach sex in the same manner. They know that getting off is nice, so that becomes the goal of the act. Much in the same way wolfing down Batali’s meal won’t allow you to appreciate the complex flavors, madly pumping your way through sex doesn’t allow you the full experience.

The easiest way to correct this behavior is to slooooow doooown. This doesn’t mean that you should continue the same humping method, just slower. It means, slow everything down. Close your eyes, and take a deep breath through your nose. Notice what you smell. Maybe it’s nothing, or maybe something is cooking in the background, and you can pick out the faint smell of garlic. Now do this with your partner. Close your eyes, cutting off one sense heightens the other. Breathe her scent in. Note what you smell, and how it is unique to her. Run your finger tips along her skin. Feel how soft it is in comparison to yours. Now look her over. Really look her over. See how her body is different from any other woman’s body. Maybe she has a scar on her knee that you never noticed before. Using all your senses helps you to really appreciate your partner. The more you appreciate her, the more you can please her, and the better the sex is for both parties.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of “The Virtuoso Lover“, covering how to make men exceptional lovers. Unfortunately most men have no idea how to make ‘out-of-this-world’ love, which leaves women frustrated and disappointed.

Learn to be one of the rare men that can satisfy women both physically and emotionally by visiting: The Virtuoso Lover.

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

1. Tip #1 – Continue dating
   Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That’s why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about dating that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.
2. Tip #2 – Delay is often better
   It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.
3. Tip #3 – Always express your love
   Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?
4. Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner
   Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.” So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.
5. Tip #5 – Answer the BIG questions
   Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

   In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s” will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

Michael Webb is the author of 1000 Questions For Couples the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

I once heard an elderly man describe the success of his 75 year blissful marriage to his wife. He attributed it to the fact that he told his wife daily that he loved her and kissed her at least twice each day. I aim to follow his example and by having the kissing spot of the week, it helps me to make certain I am not forgetting to give my wife the daily kisses she deserves so much.

Some of the kissing spots have been: behind her left ear, between her eyes, the soft spot in the middle of her cheek and on the nape of her neck. It’s fun trying to decide where the next “spot” will be and my wife looks forward to the new kiss at the beginning of the week. I do not forego kissing her on the lips, but I do make a conscious effort to kiss her often on the “kissing spot.” If your sweetheart hasn’t been getting the kisses he or she deserves or you are looking for a way to be a more creative kisser, perhaps you too can implement the Kiss of the Week into your romantic lifestyle.