The courtship process is crucial. It gives you and your partner an opportunity to sort out if you are suitable for each other. A couple of questions you can use to decide if a potential partner is right for you are:

a) Would I want to have a child with this person?

b) Would I be willing to spend my life with this person if they never changed from the way they are now?

Choosing the right partner needs to center around finding a person with good character. Remember, beauty fades and a charming personality won’t pay the bills. As a rule of thumb, don?t date anyone you know you wouldn?t want to marry because you never know whom you?ll fall in love with.

Scarlet O’Hara, in Gone with the Wind said, “I can’t think about that now. I’ll go crazy if I do. I’ll think about it tomorrow.” It’s this kind of thinking that gets you into all sorts of trouble. Pay attention to your instincts. Warning!! Where there is smoke, there is usually fire. Here are some of the common things to watch out for:

• Someone who wants everything now.
• A fiery temper.
• Being too picky.
• Your family doesn?t like him or her.
• Wanting someone to take care of them.
• They mistreat other people.
• They are not over a past love.
• Any kind of “holic”.
• People who are mentally and/or emotionally unavailable.
• Someone who holds grudges.
• They don’t listen.
• They don’t call to say they are running late.
• They have an “it doesn’t matter” attitude.
• One wants children and the other doesn’t.
• Incompatible spiritual beliefs.

Few couples, if any, are completely united when the marriage vows are spoken. The real union develops in the work of the years to come. When a man and woman marry, they become One. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Couples need to learn how to make room for their differences and to allow them to peacefully co-exist. When a couple is strongly connected, all problems become manageable. When a couple isn?t connected, the smallest challenges seem insurmountable.

If you wait until you are ready for marriage, you never will be. Marriage is on the job training. Here are some strategies for becoming Mr. or Mrs. Right.

• Be kind no matter what.
• Listen, and then comment if necessary.
• Commit yourself to your partner.
• Be respectful.
• Be quick to apologize and forgive.
• Remember all holidays and anniversaries
• Say, “Thank you” and “I love you” often.
• Decide to be a Great Partner
• Make your partner’s happiness a priority.

Here is a living example of a Right Couple:

Winston Churchill once attended a formal banquet in which the distinguished guests were asked the question, ?If you could not be who you are, who would you like to be??

Everyone was curious as to how Churchill would answer. When his turn finally came, he stood and said, “If I could not be who I am, I would most like to be” and he paused to take his wife’s hand “Lady Churchill’s second husband.”

People with dissatisfying relationships expect a great one to magically show up. Couples with a great relationship look for ways to make it satisfying.

However, great husbands are much happier and they enjoy a richer degree of life. So, what is the difference? Here are some of the essential principles for becoming a great husband:

Listen To Her Feelings.

You might not understand or agree but listen. Most men argue or get frustrated. A great husband conveys unconditional support to his wife. He makes it safe for her to share all sides of herself. A wife who can freely express herself will not only feel safe but a great husband will make her feel special as well.

Spend Time With Her.

Let your actions clearly show that your wife is your greatest priority. She needs to know that she is special to you. Most men choose sports, T.V. , hunting or fishing. You can have these things but if your wife doesn’t know she comes first in your life then she may resent your other pursuits.

Be Her Champion. Your wife needs to feel your strength and security.

“I’m here for you” is the point you want to make. Despite other messages she may give you, women hate having to be in charge all of the time. Convey to your wife that your love for her is powerful and totally unconditional. Don’t let your message be weakened based on her moods or behavior. Great husbands stand by their wives no matter what.

Let Her Know That You Are Captivated By Her Beauty.

Great husbands let their wives know that they only have eyes for her. You dilute the strength of your marriage when you let your eyes drift towards other women. How is she ever going to feel safe if she feels threatened by other women all of the time? Devote yourself to her. Don’t split your energy. Pour it all into her.

Being a Great Husband is not hard to do.

It will take more of an effort but the rewards are enormous. You will feel so much better about yourself and your wife will go out of her way to fulfill the needs of your heart. Make an absolute commitment to be a Great Husband. In times of uncertainty or frustration, ask the question, “What would a Great Husband do?” This question will help you keep your direction and commitment. Strive to be great.

When Athena and I were traveling in Guatemala a few years ago we spent a couple hours in the local crafts market. We aren’t much into “things” that simply gather dust on a bookshelf. If we ever buy items on our trips, it is usually something that is more practical in nature, not just something to stare at.

There is was, a brightly colored, hand woven hammock. It was quite large, wide enough for the both of us to lay in comfortably (although we are snugglers so we tend to get very close to each other).

When the weather is being supportive, Athena and I will go take an afternoon nap in our Guatemalan hammock. Sometimes we will bring a glass of lemonade (with flexible straws) and some cookies to snack on while we lounge in our swinging mattress, sharing our joys and woes with each other. A radio adds some rhythm to swing with.

A hammock for two. What a terrific invention.

However, great husbands are much happier and they enjoy a richer degree of life. So, what is the difference? Here are some of the essential principles for becoming a great husband:

1. Listen To Her Feelings. You might not understand or agree but listen. Most men argue or get frustrated. A great husband conveys unconditional support to his wife. He makes it safe for her to share all sides of herself. A wife who can freely express herself will not only feel safe but a great husband will make her feel special as well.
2. Spend Time With Her. Let your actions clearly show that your wife is your greatest priority. She needs to know that she is special to you. Most men choose sports, T.V. , hunting or fishing. You can have these things but if your wife doesn’t know she comes first in your life then she may resent your other pursuits.
3. Be Her Champion. Your wife needs to feel your strength and security. “I’m here for you” is the point you want to make. Despite other messages she may give you, women hate having to be in charge all of the time. Convey to your wife that your love for her is powerful and totally unconditional. Don’t let your message be weakened based on her moods or behavior. Great husbands stand by their wives no matter what.
4. Let Her Know That You Are Captivated By Her Beauty. Great husbands let their wives know that they only have eyes for her. You dilute the strength of your marriage when you let your eyes drift towards other women. How is she ever going to feel safe if she feels threatened by other women all of the time? Devote yourself to her. Don’t split your energy. Pour it all into her.
5. Being a Great Husband is not hard to do. It will take more of an effort but the rewards are enormous. You will feel so much better about yourself and your wife will go out of her way to fulfill the needs of your heart. Make an absolute commitment to be a Great Husband. In times of uncertainty or frustration, ask the question, “What would a Great Husband do?” This question will help you keep your direction and commitment. Strive to be great.

Husbands, if you want your wife to adore you, develop this simple habit. This minor adjustment will make her feel special and will let her know she is your priority.

Here?s how this works: Husbands, which family member generally gets to you first when you arrive home each day from work? Your children, right? They are so excited to see you. They practically knock you down with their enthusiasm, this is almost impossible to resist. Most husbands greet the children first, but for the sake of the children as well as your wife, do not do this. Always Greet Your Wife First.

Before I tell you why, let me give the husbands a little inside information that I have picked up as a marriage and family therapist. Your wife typically hides from you when you?re expected to arrive home. She wants you to be interested enough and care enough to come find her. If you think about it isn?t she normally in her closet or in the laundry room when you get home? Do not stop and read the mail. Do not sit in your recliner. Go find her.

Instead of stopping to hug the children, say to them, ?Ya?ll help me find Momma.?

They will gladly help and you rush to where your wife is. Greet her with enthusiasm. Think about how your children and your dog greet you. Show about the same degree of enthusiasm. Look into her eyes. Embrace her. Tell her how glad ou are to see her.

This kind of greeting shows her honor. It automatically conveys a message that she is special to you and she is your priority. It isn?t hard to do but it?s impact will blow her doors off.

After you have greeted her enthusiastically, greet your children with a similar response. The reason behind this relates to a matter of developing respect from your children for their mother. In most homes, the father can tell the children to do something and the children do it immediately. However, their mother can tell the children to do the same thing and the children give her a hard timed about it. Greeting your wife first helps squash this behavior.

When you greet your children first, then your wife, you are giving the children the message that they are more important than their Momma. They start believing that their daddy holds them in greater esteem than he does their Momma. Thus, they do not have to do what she says. However, when you greet their Momma first, then they see that you hold her in greater esteem and they will do the same. They will then be quicker to do what she says.

Someone will greet them first when they reach adulthood but for now, honor their Momma. Try this out today. You will feel better about yourself as a husband. The love and respect that you show towards your wife will come back to you multiplied.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com