In her later years, both my mom and dad lived in a life-care retirement center. Partially due to the stress of my mom’s Alzheimer’s condition, my dad became ill and was unable to care for her anymore. They lived in separate rooms, yet were together as much as they could be. They loved each other so much. Hand-in-hand, those silver-haired lovers would stroll the halls, visiting their friends; passing out love. They were the ‘romantics’ of the retirement center.

When I realized that her condition was worsening, I wrote her a letter of acknowledgment. I told her how much I loved her. I apologized for my orneriness when I was growing up. I told her that she was a great mother and I was proud to be her son. I told her things I had wanted to say for a long time and had been too stubborn to say until I realized she may or may not be in a position to comprehend the love behind the words. It was a detailed letter of love and of completion. My dad told me that she often would spend many hours reading and re-reading that letter.

It saddened me to know that my mom no longer knew I was her son. She would often ask, “Now, what was your name?” and I would proudly reply that my name was Larry and I was her son. She would smile and reach for my hand. I wish I could once again experience that special touch.

On one of my visits, I stopped by the local malt shop and bought her and my father a strawberry malt. I stopped by her room first, re-introduced myself to her, chatted for a few minutes and took the other strawberry malt to my dad’s room.

By the time I returned, she had almost finished the malt. She had laid down on the bed for a rest. She was awake. We both smiled when she saw me come into the room.

Without a word, I pulled a chair close to the bed and reached over to hold her hand. It was a Divine connection. I silently affirmed thoughts about my love for her. In the quiet I could feel the magic of our unconditional love even though I knew she was quite unaware of who was holding her hand. Or was she holding my hand?

After about 10 minutes, I felt her give my hand a tender squeeze. . . three squeezes. They were brief and instantly I knew what she was saying without having to hear any words.

The miracle of unconditional love is nurtured by the power of the Divine and our own imagination.

I couldn’t believe it! Even though she could no longer express her innermost thoughts like she used to, no words were necessary. It was as though she came back for a brief moment!

Many years ago when my father and she were dating, she had invented this very special way of telling my dad, “I love you!” while they were sitting in church. He would softly give her hand two squeezes to say, “Me too!”

I gave her hand two soft squeezes. She turned her head and gave me a loving smile I shall never forget. Her countenance radiated love.

I remembered her expressions of unconditional love for my father, our family, and her countless friends. Her love continues to profoundly influence my life.

Another eight to ten minutes went by. No words were spoken.

Suddenly she turned to me and quietly spoke these words. “It’s important to have someone who loves you.”

I wept. They were tears of joy. I gave her a warm and tender hug, told her how very much I loved her and left.

My mother passed away shortly after that.

Very few words were spoken that day; those she spoke were words of gold. I will always treasure those special moments.

As seen in “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, reprinted here with permission.

Instead of the plain old “Men” and “Women” on the politically correct male and female door signs, the restrooms entries at Cramer-Krasselt are adorned with tasteful, nearly look-alike 3-inch square photos of a toilet. There is one difference — one has the seat up and the other has the seat down.

Is someone trying to tell us something?

Come on, guys! Maybe it’s time to be a little more considerate. Like paying attention to the little things.
As a professional speaker, I lead seminars on personal relationships. In our discussions of “paying attention to the little things,” taking the garbage out, leaving the toilet seat up and rolling the toilet paper the wrong way (among other things) seem to almost always creep into the conversation.

Although we may laugh at such trivial things, the truth is, it is important to our partners to do the little things consistently. It shows them we value and respect them.

Inventor, Tim Seniuk has the perfect solution to the “leaving the toilet seat up” problem. He has invented a toilet seat that goes down automatically after about two minutes. This $40 investment could save your marriage! ;-)

Indifference is like water to a fire. The flame of love grows dim with indifference to your partner’s needs. By far the most common and important way in which you can exercise your attention to your partner is by listening. Listening is an act of love.

Women can often tell a man’s interest in them by the length of his attention span. It’s one thing to pay attention and quite another to acknowledge her request and then remember to do it more than once without having to be reminded. She is not your mother.

It is unreasonable, and a breach of trust, to deny your lover’s report of her feelings. When she expresses a need, it’s your responsibility to do what you can to fulfill that need. Partners who love each other make this a priority.

Being attentive to your love partner’s needs, regardless of what importance you may place on them, will support things going well in and out of the bedroom. Think about it.

Make a list of things you know that pleases your partner and remember do them consistently. Where is it written that a man should have only one job and a woman two? Housework is not just the woman’s job!

If you feel that it is solely her responsibility to go about cleaning the house, paying the bills, taking care of the children, feeding the pets, emptying the trash, washing the clothes, vacuuming the carpet, getting the groceries, planning and cooking your dinner, all with great gusto, you are dead wrong!

For a relationship to work, BOTH partners must give 100% all the time! It’s never easy and it’s possible. Taking care of what needs to be taken care of is a SHARED responsibility. Relationship enrichment can only occur when both partners work together.

Reach agreement about taking out the garbage, which way the toilet paper should roll; in or out and putting the toilet seat down after you have completed your bathroom task and all the other helpful things you can do. Have them be random acts of thoughtfulness.

Intentionally add a little pizzazz to your love relationship. Do it in playful ways. Exercise your sense of humor. It enlivens your spirit, breeds happiness and causes you and the one you love to experience fully the love you feel for one another.

Leave a note on the toilet seat (after you’ve put it down) that says, “I put the seat down because I love you, not because I should,” and add a smiley face. Do things that make each other smile. Smiles and knowing nods from your lover create a sense of unity that adds longevity to your relationship.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. So, maybe it’s time to make the best use of your time to show your partner that you are sensitive to the little things.

And one more thing. If you leave spinkles on the seat. . . wipe them off! ;-)

I encourage the men in my seminars to use their bathroom experience as an opportunity to ponder the thought that. . .

“Foreplay begins with putting the toilet seat down without being asked!”