In my research for my book, I discovered the two reasons that a man doesn’t get married:

1. He’s not ready.
2. You’re not the right one.

That’s it, there only two. You could be the right one, but if he’s not ready, he’s very likely to let you go. He may come back, but by then, you’ve continued with your quest and found a man who is ready. You see, men don’t fantasize about getting married. They know it will happen one day, as part of the process of growing up. But they usually don’t want to rush it unless they’re the type that lives in the moment and doesn’t pay much attention to the consequences of their actions. Most men are outward; they set and achieve goals, solve problems, accomplish things in the world. They don’t sit around and day-dream about what life will be like when they’re married. They’re too focused on being successful and creating security for the future. It’s the hunter instinct. Plan ahead and make sure everyone is safe and well-fed. If either of those things aren’t handled, he’s considered a failure. Not okay for a hunter. That’s why most men need to have a secure, stable job before they “take the plunge.”

So when a man gets old enough to think maybe he should start considering settling down, getting married and having a family, it’s a nuts-and-bolts decision, not a fantasy-come-true. Yes, he likes being married, likes the home a wife creates, his stature that grows among his peers and in his community and the stability it brings. But he also sees marriage as the time he gives up his freedom. Freedom to come and go as he pleases, to have sex with lots of beautiful women (his fantasy, by the way), and to focus on his career and himself. The biggest challenge, however, is the decision to take on the economic and emotional responsibility of another adult (you) and however many children the two of you have. For him, it’s all about needing to be a good enough provider to take care of your needs, a house, two cars, and the expenses that grow as children grow. This is huge for most men. That’s why, even though he may not want to even consider not having you in his life, he can’t seem to get the proposal out of his mouth, or if he does, he breaks the engagement, too overwhelmed with what it means to take on all of those responsibilities.

What does all this mean for you? Mostly, you get to feel what’s going on for him and how different his view of marriage is from yours. But even more, he now knows you understand what he’s going through, and that you won’t pressure him, at least for a while, so he can prepare himself for what he says he wants…to be married to you, the women he loves. This will make you indispensable to him because, more than anything he needs to feel understood. If he’s the right one, give him time, let him know you support him in what he has to go through, give him the understanding that he craves and he’ll think you’re the most amazing woman on the planet.

1. She said too much. Men tell me that many women go into way too much detail about their past relationships, especially of a sexual nature. Men don’t want to hear it, even if they ask you to tell them.
2. She talked about all the bad things every man ever did to her…and she blames me. Men hate it when a woman blames them for what some jerk before them did to her. It’s like they’re guilty until proven innocent.
3. She’s angry at men. She’s got a chip on her shoulder about men and carries a bit of anger toward all men…simply because they’re men. This is a variation on #2 but it’s about men in general, rather than specific men and incidences.
4. She lacks all the qualities he’s looking for. Most any woman’s list of expectations regarding men, marriage, and relationships is pretty long. Consequently, most women settle for a man that lacks some of the qualities she was looking for. A man’s list is very short. For example, if a man’s list of what he’s looking for in that special woman is four items long, if one item is missing, that’s one/quarter of what he needs. If it’s missing, he’s gone…without an explanation.
5. She has sex too soon. Yes, most men want to get a woman into bed as soon as possible. But, if a woman he’s really interested in has sex with him too soon, he quits
   calling because he figures if she did it with him so easily, she probably did with others, equally soon in the relationship. It’s a double standard, of course, but I’m just reporting the news. And ladies, don’t say, “I don’t usually have sex so soon”. He won’t believe it, even if it’s true. He’s heard it before. He wants to think you’re kind of pure, and maybe only had sex with the few men you were truly in love with. Wait until you think this man could become Mr. Right. He’ll respect your desire to wait. If not, isn’t it nice to find out now.

Those are some reasons nice men don’t call back. I hope this sheds some
light on why men do those frustrating things they do. Good luck… and enjoy.

This article is aimed at men because men don’t seem to complain that “she’s not romantic enough.” Men need romance, although not to the degree that women seem to.

For many men, this subject creates a fair amount of angst. They know women want it, but they don’t quite know how to give it to them. Men also know that women tend to have a lot of expectations regarding romance and unfortunately, for a lot of men, if they don’t do it right, they’re in trouble.

Romance is about caring, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and creating love. Some men are natural at creating the kind of romance that women want, but a lot of men think romance is simply preparation for sex. There is some truth to that because most women need to feel a man cares in order to be emotionally and physically available for sex. Romance helps women feel cared for.

Any gesture of thoughtfulness between two people who are in or moving toward love can be received as romantic. Picking up the phone in the middle of the day and telling that special person you care. Buying a gift for no reason. Planning a special outing or trip. Creating a surprise. Offering to help in little thoughtful ways.

Anything that sets a mood, such as lighting candles, playing favorite love songs, or turning down the bed, are all romantic gestures. How about picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom?; drawing a hot bath; or arranging a baby-sitter so you can have a quiet evening alone. Stopping what you’re doing, looking her in the eyes and saying “I love you” can be one of the most romantic things you can do.

Each woman has her own “hot buttons” and you want to pay special attention to those. But how do you discover them? A great way is to notice what she does for you. Does she send you notes and cards, or leave loving messages on your phone machine? Does she create surprises or special outings? Does she love to get dressed up and look pretty and sexy for you? When you notice her doing something romantic for you, write it down. Then, every once in a while, look at that list and do one of those things for her. She’ll love you for it and, seeing the sparkle in her eyes can inspire you to become a natural at it.

Ask a close friend what has worked for him. Ask women friends for ideas–they’ll enjoy helping out. Find a book on love and romance. LIGHT HER FIRE by Ellen Kreidman is filled with great ideas.

Romance doesn’t just happen. It takes creativity and desire to keep the love between you and your partner alive or, for those in new relationships, to win his or her heart. Romance is the best way to say you care.

• Men need to feel successful, so-much-so that, to a man, failure is death. For them, if they fail, they no longer feel like men. It’s why men commit suicide more often than women. 
• Men are most attracted to happy women who genuinely like themselves and
  who enjoy being women. When you’re happy, he feels successful. When you’re a
  bottomless pit who never seems pleased by anything he does, he finally gets
  worn out and leaves. 
• Men hate it when a woman tries to change them. What it tells them is that
  they’re not okay the way they are. That makes them feel attacked, which
  makes them put up defenses against those attacks…against you. A defended
  man cannot love a woman the way she wants. You can help him dismantle those
  defenses and once again open his heart to loving you…like in the beginning
  of your relationship when he thought you were the most wonderful woman on
  the planet. 
• Since they were boys, men have been taught not to feel. “Pick yourself up,
  don’t cry, be a man.” Those messages were taken to heart and as men, the
  only person they feel at all comfortable being intimate with, sharing at
  least a little of what’s going on inside of them, is their wife. He’ll begin
  to share things he may have never told you before, no matter how long you’ve
  been married. You really are his only source of intimacy. 
• When you get engaged it’s the beginning of a fantasy-come-true. But he
  didn’t pretend to be married when he was a boy, he doesn’t buy “Groom” magazine
  and plan his wedding. For him, it’s very much a financial decision and a
  willingness to take on some very big responsibilities. When you understand
  what he’s going through, he’ll see how unique and special you really are. He
  won’t want to risk losing you.

With Men Made Easy, you’ll go inside the well-guarded private world of men, inside their heart, and understand what makes men fall in love, what makes them WANT to get married, and what makes them never want to do anything to risk losing you. You’ll actually understand men even better than they understand themselves. They crave that understanding more than you can imagine. You’ll become the most appealing, attractive, irresistible women they’ve ever known.

Secret #1: Romance is the key to sex

Romance is routine maintenance–yeah, like your car — to keep things running
smoothly. Remember all those romantic things you did to win her in the first
place? Keep doing them now and then. If you let her know often that you
care, she stays open and responsive to your sexual overtures.

Romance is all the little things you do to let her know you care.
Call her just to say hi. Buy her a gift “just because.” (Remember, it isn’t
the cost of the gift, it’s the thought.) And flowers, even the smallest
bouquet, always work. How about mailing a card or leaving a note where
she’ll find it? Or planning a special outing, or arranging for a baby-sitter
so you can take her to the movies? Anything that lets her know you’ve been
thinking about her melts her heart. For her, romance and sex go
hand-in-hand. If you want more sex, give her more romance.

Secret #2: For her, sex takes time

Okay, your romantic efforts have paid off and she’s in the mood for sex.
When asked what sex advice they’d give to men, women almost always say,
“Tell them to SLOW DOWN!”

Think of sex as a slow, sensuous dance. Be gentle, seductive. (Rent
the movie Don Juan deMarco and listen to how he talks about women and making
love.) Explore her entire body. You both may be surprised what you find.
Hold her like you never want to let her go. And give her lots of long, slow
kisses. (Women often complain that men don’t kiss enough.)

What you’re doing is warming her up. You wouldn’t take a Ferrari
that’s been sitting in your garage for a week, start it, and immediately run
it up to 100 mph, would you? Well, think of her as a Ferrari.

Oh, and don’t roll over and fall asleep immediately after sex. Women
really hate this; they need to be held and they love a little pillow talk
afterward, so stay awake for at least a few minutes. Then better yet, fall
asleep holding her.

Secret #3: Talking is the way she connects with you

Women talk for the sheer pleasure of talking. It’s how they connect to
people. If your partner has read my book she understands that a lot of
what she talks about – all those little details – is boring to you. So, she’s
going to be more selective about what she says to you. But if you give her
your full attention when she does talk to you, it becomes one of those
romantic gestures. Got it?

And you know how she’s always trying to get you to be “more
intimate”? If you listen to her more, she’ll think you are being more
intimate. All you have to do is look at her and pay attention; she’ll think
she’s died and gone to heaven. It’s that important to her, and that simple.

Secret #4: She needs to hear you say you care

For her to really feel your love, you need to tell her in words. Of course,
she wants to hear you say “I love you,” but anything you say to let her know
you care and appreciate her will earn you major points: “You’re wonderful,
do you know that?” “I’m so lucky to have you.” “Do you know how much I love
you?” Big points on that one. Whenever you say these things, look into her
eyes and mean it. Remember this, you cannot tell her you love her too often.
This definitely wins you points on the romance chart.

And, how often have you heard one of your buddies, who’s gotten a
divorce, say, “I never realized how much she did to make my life
comfortable.”

Secret #5: She needs to hear she’s attractive

In today’s culture, because of what they are taught as girls, and because of
what they read in magazines and see on TV and in films, women get insecure
about how they look and whether they’re sexually appealing. So, tell her
regularly – and let her know you mean it – that she’s beautiful and sexy.

Compliment her on a new dress, the color she’s wearing, or how her
hair looks. Tell her she has soft skin, how much she turns you on, how
pretty her breasts are. The more beautiful she feels, the sexier she’ll
feel. This should pay off big time in the bedroom.

Secret #6: Her feelings need to be honored

Her feelings are as important to her as your work (or maybe sports) is to
you. That’s why she likes to talk about them. She needs you to acknowledge
what’s going on for her when she’s being emotional. Don’t try to tell her
that what she’s feeling is “wrong” and don’t try to fix the problem unless
she asks you to. And never tell her “not to feel” her emotions. A sure-fire
winner: ask her, “What are you feeling?” Then sit down and listen.

She understands that you get kind of uncomfortable when she’s being
emotional, but if you just let her express herself and listen with your full
attention, she’ll think you’re the most sensitive man on the planet.

Secret #7: Making up is hard to do

When you fight with your partner, are you often surprised that it turned
into a bigger event than it should have? If she’s like most women, she tends
to get going with her emotions and lets everything spill out. She doesn’t
mean a lot of what she says. Do your best to pay attention, let her vent,
but don’t let the words get to you. The best way to stop her in her tracks
is to admit that you were being stubborn, insensitive, inconsiderate, and
hurtful. The more conciliatory you are, the more she’ll be stopped in her
tracks. If you make the first move to make up and offer no resistance, she
can’t keep fighting with you. Someone has to take charge so it doesn’t
escalate, and because she’s lost in her emotions, it’s going to have to be
you. Be willing to look at her complaint and see where you may have been
insensitive to her needs.

If you both vow to never go to bed mad, you’ll be making love
instead of war.

Secret #8: She likes to be pampered

Your woman naturally does for others. She appreciates the value of nurturing
but all too often doesn’t take the time to care for herself. You can score
big time if once in a while you run a bubble bath for her, take her on a
special trip or plan a romantic dinner, give her a gift certificate from her
favorite shop or a trip to a day spa. Talk about getting a woman “in the
mood.” Wahoo!

Sure, she appreciates that you change the oil in her car, but it
doesn’t really tell her you love her, even though that may be what you mean.
To pamper her just remember, personal luxuries.

Secret #9: She needs your respect

Throughout history, and in many cultures even today, women have been
second-class citizens, looked down on as less able in every category. Only
recently have we begun to consider women worthy of respect. To be the open,
loving woman you want, she needs you to honor her as a person and appreciate
her contributions as a capable person. Don’t treat her as a child. Don’t
judge or criticize her. Don’t ignore her or take her for granted. Don’t be
rude. Treat her like a lady at all times and she’ll treat you with the
respect that you expect and enjoy.

Secret #10: She needs to feel secure

Your lady has a deep biological need to feel secure, to have a man provide
for her and protect her. Financial security is obviously important, but even
more than that, she needs to know you’re there for her. That’s one of the
reasons she needs to hear you say “I love you.”

What really helps is to give her ongoing affection and the
reassurance of physical contact. If you do this every day, several times a
day, you’ll give her the security she needs. Hold her hand, put your arm
around her, hug her, touch her in gentle and reassuring ways. The more
secure she feels, the happier she’ll be. When she’s happy, she’s open to
you.

Secret #11: She needs your time and attention

Does she ever try to talk to you when you’re reading the newspaper? Or walk
in front of the TV in the middle of the play-offs? Does she complain that
she never sees you, never has time to talk with you, or that you don’t even
know she’s alive? If so, it’s a plea for your attention. She knows how
focused you can be when you’re working, but she feels left out. It’s part of
that security thing.

What to do? Set aside time now and then to focus on her. Let her know
she’s important enough to devote yourself to her completely and she’ll be
less likely to feel ignored. The rewards will far outweigh the effort.

Secret #12: She wants a man who makes her feel like a woman

She chose you because of your masculine qualities. Qualities that make her
feel more womanly. In your presence, she feels protected, provided for, and
loved. Be masculine, but do it with sensuality and sensitivity. Be hungry
for her, be passionate, be strong, but be tender, as if she were a delicate
flower. And, yes, open the car door for her, carry heavy things for her,
pull out her chair. The feminist movement did a lot of damage to romance but
if your woman has been reading this book, she’s not into feminism, she’s
into love and romance. That means you. Be chivalrous, be gallant, be
thoughtful, and win her heart…over and over again.

Make her feel beautiful, make her feel desirable, make her feel
special and important, and you’ll make her feel like a woman–as only a man
can do.

Yes, It’s That Simple!

So there it is in a nutshell. Twelve Simple Secrets that could very well
change your life forever. You can never know for sure what’s going on with a
woman, but you can certainly make everything a lot nicer–for both of
you–by following the advice you’ve just read.

Men complain that women nag, criticize, try to change them, are never
satisfied, are too emotional and unpredictable. If you follow these Secrets
and make them a habit, that irritating behavior should pretty much
disappear. If it comes back, consider it a barometer of how you’re doing.
Then get the Secrets out and read them again.

The way to be a great lover is to be a romantic lover. When you focus
on romance, she’ll respond to you like never before. And she’ll feel like
she’s the luckiest woman alive.

Do You Wish SHE Understood YOU Better?

Do you want to be her hero? Give her the book everyone is talking about. The best thing you can do for your relationship is buy Men Made Easy for her. And if you’re single and searching, this book is the perfect filter because if she doesn’t like it, it means she probably doesn’t like
men. You can quit while your ahead.

The book teaches women to understand you and accept you as you are,
to appreciate you, especially the masculine qualities that she most admires,
to be happy and beautiful in every way, and to enjoy sex because it’s your
primary source of intimate expression…and you know how women are always
asking for more intimacy.

Buy the E-Book (you can read it immediately)

Men agree that one of the most attractive qualities in a woman is when she’s self-assured, likes herself, is comfortable with who she is, likes how she looks and most importantly, she’s happy. It’s impossible to be all those things when you’re shy or insecure. And being happy and being shy are two opposites.

Being shy is a state of mind and can be changed with practice. The more you describe yourself as shy, the more you believe it is who you are. Shyness stops you from having fun. I know because I used to be shy and insecure, thinking people would rather not have me around. I realized one day that I was being very self-centered. Shyness and insecurity means you’re worrying about how other people see YOU, how they feel about YOU, and how they judge YOU. Turn it around and begin to see that most people are shy (albeit at different degrees) and usually waiting for someone to make the first move. Don’t you admire those people who can go up to anyone, introduce themselves, and begin a conversation? Well, you can become that kind of person, the kind of person people enjoy having around.

Here’s how to get rid of that totally useless shyness that is holding you back from having what you want and being happy.

Stage One:

(Remember: They’re a little bit shy too and waiting for someone to make the first move.)

1. Practice smiling in front of the mirror. Often, when we’re shy we think we’re smiling but our mouths don’t show it.
2. Then begin smiling at strangers who don’t intimidate you.
3. When that becomes completely comfortable, start smiling at people who do intimidate you, like nice looking men, but not those who you’re attracted to. Then, start smiling at men you are attracted to.
4. Start saying hello to people who don’t intimidate you.
5. When that feels comfortable, start saying hello to people who do intimidate you, working up to the scariest.
6. Start complimenting people who don’t intimidate you. Find something about them like a color they’re wearing, a dress, a tie, whatever. It doesn’t matter as long as your intention is to sincerely make them feel good.
7. Compliment scarier and scarier people as you become comfortable with each new level.
8. Start flirting with people who don’t intimidate you. I don’t mean sexual fliring. I mean get them to laugh, play with them, compliment them and tease them in nice ways. A great way to learn to flirt in this way is to start with kids. The same kinds of silly, friendly things you can say to a child (or even a cute dog) is what Friendly Flirting is all about.
9. Flirt with scarier and scarier people. Learn how fun it can be to bring smiles and laughter into people’s lives. You don’t have to be a comedian to get people to laugh. Watch others, rent movies that have people who act like what I’m talking about and practice til it’s comfortable. And always practice each new level on people who are completely unintimidating to you.
   

Stage Two:

(Remember: They’re a little bit shy too and waiting for someone to make the first move.)

1. Start conversations with strangers who don’t intimidate you: People in line with you at the supermarket, people in parks, waitresses, secretaries. Whenever you want to practice, go out and find someone to talk to. Watch what other people talk about. Notice things around you. Make comments, ask questions.
2. As you become more comfortable, start conversations with scarier and scarier people.
3. Now that you’re pretty comfortable with other people, start walking up to people (when it’s appropriate) and introduce yourself and begin a conversation. It’s all about intention. Wanting to bad enough…and lots of practice.
4. If you practice all these steps, I gurantee you’ll get over most, if not all, of your shyness. Sure, everyone gets insecure and intimidated occasionally, but they simply acknowledge the feeling and go ahead and do it anyway. You can do this if you really want to. It’s up to you to put in the time and work. But trust me, because this is how I got over being shy, it works.

IN BED:

During lovemaking, in those times of rest, in between the high energy times, talk about what you just did and how it made you feel; what your partner did and how it made you feel; how your partner reacted to something you did. Say things like, “When I swirled my tongue around the tip of your penis, and touched your testicles, I loved how you reacted, the noises you made. It really turned me on. And when you stroked the inside of my thigh with that feather light touch, I could feel electricity running through me. It was great.” This is a way to make love all over again, get turned on again and communicate all the things that worked. You can learn a lot about each other this way.

ON THE PHONE:

Call your partner and either speak to them directly or if they aren’t in, leave them a message. Be sure no one else will hear it. An example might be, “Hi, I was just thinking of what you did to me last night, how you got on top of me and looked at me that way. It really got me hot.” Who and what will they be thinking about?

IN CARDS, LETTERS OR EMAIL:

Send notes describing what you might want to do or how something you have done recently or that you haven’t done in a while would turn you on. Don’t be afraid to go into details. Be erotic, sexy, nasty, whatever you know would turn on your partner.

ANYWHERE AROUND THE HOUSE OR WHEN YOU’RE OUT:

If you’re in the kitchen, the bathroom, when you’re driving in the car, at a party, lecture, or movie, lean over and say something seductive that you know will turn on your partner. Maybe suggest a fantasy, like making love on the kitchen counter, or in the shower. And, ladies, it’s amazing the reaction you can get and the attention throughout the evening if you announce when you’re on your way or at a function that you don’t have on any panties.

This kind of talk is a way to keep the special intimacy that you share, keep your interest and focus on sex, communicate what you like and want, and keep your sexual energy flowing. If you’re tentative just start a little at a time. Be respectful of each other and stay alert to what works and doesn’t. Experiment, be creative, and most importantly, have fun.