Six months later, I thought back on her words with a sense of wonderment. Was this woman clairvoyant? How had she known that in just a few month’s time my boyfriend – who had been steadily sending me roses of every hue – would now rather sit at a bar with his friends on a Friday night than see me? Of course, he still called me and took me on dates? but something was horribly missing.

The “gaga” was gone.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term “gaga”, it is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as: ?marked by wild enthusiasm, infatuated, doting.? I missed this wild enthusiasm. The infatuation. The doting. I missed getting each other little surprise gifts, spending late nights talking on the phone, taking Sunday drives into the country, talking about our future, going for walks around the nearby lake holding hands, sneaking in a kiss at every possible moment. Most of all, I missed my favorite part of gaga. This is when, after every meal eaten out, movie watched, purchase bought together, or trip we went on, my boyfriend would hand me the receipt and tell me to keep it in a special place so we could look back on what we did one day. Over the months, I acquired a large bag of these memory receipts.

Needless to say, after a few weekend nights spent alone at home, and no gaga, I proceeded to take that large bag of memory receipts and dump them into my boyfriend?s lap.

?This was gaga!? I fumed, ?I see that it?s gone now. We may as well break up because there?s no fun in the relationship anymore.?

To be honest, I expected my boyfriend to agree. I expected that we would break up, find someone else to be gaga with for 6 months, and continue to repeat the process into infinity.

Instead, he looked crushed. ?But don?t you love me?? he asked.

?Yes, but there?s no more gaga,? I said, feeling like the relationship was doomed. If there was no gaga, what was there? I wasn?t trying to be selfish, but I was not feeling first place in his life anymore. I wanted to relive the first six months we dated. Nothing seemed special anymore, and it was upsetting. I definitely needed some advice about this predicament. So I sought the help of my clairvoyant co-worker.

?So the gaga is gone,? she said, looking amused. ?I knew it. It typically lasts 1-6 months. You?re lucky ? you kept it for a while.?

?But how about all of the couples that have been dating for years?? I asked. ?Or the ones that get married? How does the relationship last when the gaga disappears??

?Gaga is a funny thing,? she said. ?It?s what draws two people together, and then it leaves. What happens next depends on the two people. The relationship depends on how much the both of you want it to work, and how much the both of you want to be together. If you can make it last and achieve happiness by working on it together ? that?s the real gaga.?

It is now 14 months into my relationship with my boyfriend. And while the gaga has ended, we put our best efforts into making our relationship fun, happy, and meaningful. Sure, he still goes out with his friends without me, and I will go out without him. This is normal and to be expected. But the next day, or the next weekend, we both make it a point to do something together ? whether it means taking a romantic walk or going away for a weekend on a trip. We learned that gaga is a state of mind, and it?s up to us to be in it or not.

I have recently started my second bag of receipt memories.

I had dated quite a few guys, but no one seriously in the three years Amy and I were friends. Going out with Amy was fun, and something I could count on to keep the boredom of single life away. She became like a sister to me. Then something happened.

I got a boyfriend.

Suddenly, ?Girls Night Out? turned into ?Do You Mind If We Meet Up With Matt While We?re Out Night?? You see, my new boyfriend and I wanted to get to know each other more, as expected. However, in the delirious excitement of having this new person in my life, I committed one of the worst dating sins a female can commit: I let my friendship with my best girlfriend slip.

At first it wasn?t very noticeable to me. I still chatted on email and spoke on the phone with Amy almost every day. But the truth is that when she asked me to go out, I first considered if there was a chance I?d be doing something with Matt that night. As my relationship with Matt grew over the months, going out with Amy to bars and clubs became a bit boring ? I wasn?t looking for ?Mr. Right? anymore. To top it off, my ?Mr. Right? was not very happy at the prospect of me going to bars and clubs without him. ?Clubs are dens of sin!? he half-joked one day, when I mentioned how often I used to go. ?They only exist because people go there to hook up with each other.? So I stopped going to my dens of sin.

The last time I saw Amy was on the weekend after my 27th birthday. As a gift, she had bought me a ticket to go with her on a bus trip to shop in New York City. Just like old times, I thought as I stepped off the bus into the springtime New York sun. I had to hold that thought, though, because my cell phone began ringing. It was Matt, making his usual morning call. This time he asked if I got there safely and told me to have a fun day. I didn?t think much of it until I looked over at Amy?s disgusted frown.

?Can?t you even go one day without talking to him?? she fumed. ?This is OUR trip, it?s a Girl?s Day. Why does he need to call??

Equally annoyed, I told her that I liked when he called, that it made me feel he cared and thought of me. It was the truth ? I enjoyed the fact that he thought to call when he woke up every morning. But looking back on it now, I realize Amy wasn?t angry that he?d called. She was angry that I appreciated how much he cared about me, while ignoring the fact that she, too, cared for me. For months she?d been asking me to go out, calling me, writing me email, and now taking me on a trip for my birthday. But I had not shown her any appreciation for being a good friend.

Amy and I haven?t spoken much after that trip.

As the months passed and my relationship with Matt became more and more familiar, I started to notice something interesting. During our relationship, he had not given up any of his friends or hobbies that he had before we knew each other. He still played basketball every Sunday morning with his friends. He met his friends for dinner and drinks when I was busy and couldn?t make it. He made it a point to find time for them, even if it meant saying no to making plans with me once in a while.

Slowly but surely, I thought back about how I had given up things to spend time with him. And from time to time, I threw those things in his face to make him feel guilty if he wasn?t going to take me out on a Saturday night. ?I could be at my den of sin,? I?d yell at him, ?but now I don?t have a friend to go there with. Have fun tonight with Jim and Mike. I?ll just be here reading a book.?

Ironically, the less Amy was in my life, the more fights I had with Matt. Why, there was no one to call and vent to about my problems with him or with life in general. So who heard all of my complaints? He did. And like guys do, he tried to tell me how I should solve all of my dilemmas, which annoyed me to no end. A female, like Amy, would have just listened to me and consoled me while I had my personal pity party.

As much as I wanted to place the blame on Matt for the fact that I gave up so many things I used to enjoy, the truth is that all the blame lies on me. No one made me give anything up. I volunteered it to chase the fairy tale relationship that depicts man and woman alone, together against the world. I overlooked the friends beside, behind, and in front of man and woman, protecting them, helping them, and loving them.

Amy, check your email? an old friend is sending you an article she wrote.