What was the biggest complaint about the younger kid? If you had a standard relationship, the biggest strain was ALWAYS that your younger sibling hung around too much.

There you were, trying to play video games, and he was always butting in, usually being embarrassing for some unplaced reason. You wanted to go to the movies with your friends, and she wanted to come, and your mom made you take him.

It was so ANNOYING! You had this clinging human that you couldn’t get rid of, you couldn’t get a MOMENT for YOURSELF!

I mean, why didn’t he hang out with his OWN friends? Why couldn’t he GET HIS OWN LIFE, and just leave you alone?

Guess what. You are your younger brother.

Many guys make the CRUCIAL error of opening themselves up too soon to new women in their life, ESPECIALLY very attractive and sought-after ones.

You?ve been there. So have I.

Everything is going great, and one day it’s so great you can?t help yourself. You feel the NEED to SHARE these strong feelings with the woman. You are so HAPPY you can?t contain yourself.

And then it all goes wrong.

Maybe she just seems to cool and slowly lose interest. Maybe she gives you the dreaded friend treatment, or she might even just blow you off completely.

And it doesn’t make any sense. Everything was wonderful, and then suddenly it wasn’t, and you have NO IDEA WHY.

Guess what. You are your younger brother.

The SECOND you open yourself up like this to a lady, she’s thinking “Here we go again.” Even if you haven’t yet, she’s been through this before.

Of course she has. Attractive women have guys crawling all over them every day, and she has to know how to get rid of the rejects quickly. Usually she can tell the weak and self-conscious a mile away, but every once and awhile a guy sneaks past her defenses.

She enjoys her time with him, he seems cool and in control, and then he has to tell her how he FEELS.

Not a trait of the strong confident type. That by itself isn’t what does the relationship in, but it’s what often FOLLOWS that a girl will avoid like a Roseanne bikini collection.

The guy CHANGES overnight from the confident man she enjoyed her time with, into a needy wussy over-sensitive puddle of spongy goo. Probably at least ONE of these guys in her past turned into a STALKER after she lost attraction and gave him walking papers.

Not to say YOU will - God I hope not - and if you’ve got a patient lady she may wait to find out which guy shows up the next few times - the confident man she fell for, or a self-help sensitive whiner who isn’t happy without constant affirmation.

But you spill the beans too soon, and she’ll start thinking of ways out.

This isn’t to say you can never express how you feel; there’s a time in every relationship when it?s appropriate. It’s just that most guys skip ahead WAY too early. And it gives the girls the heebie-jeebies.

Just like it would you.

One time I was dating two women, trying to decide which one to have a deeper relationship with, if either. One of them, on our second or third date, crawled between my legs when we got home and begged me to MARRY her. I mean pleaded, cried, everything.

Guess how long it took me to drop her? Whatever you just said, it wasn?t that long.

She FREAKED ME OUT and I started thinking about all the ways she must be damaged to be that needy. It’s not attractive at all. I went from pitched-tent to frightened turtle in negative 8 seconds.

And you KNOW you’d do the same if someone you barely know said something like that to you.

Start telling a girl too early how much you like her, sometimes even just saying how much you like your TIME together, and the lady has the same reaction.

She goes from snowy-morning pert to steam-bath smooth in the same negative 8.

Not to mention, even if she reacts well to it, the thrill is gone. The mystery is dead, the chase has ended, you?ve got NO power in the relationship anymore and she knows it.

Like with your kid bro, she might evilly give you little missions just to see what kind of power she has over you, just to get the rush and the giggles out of it.

That is NO way to go through a relationship.

Now if, on the other hand, things are going well and she’s starting to want to hear some committal words and you HOLD BACK, the tension and mystery just increases.

I remember one girl I absolutely adored said something shocking to me after a tiff - she said she was very insecure around me because she didn?t even know if I liked her at all. And she LOVED that excitement.

Talk about an eye-opener.

I’m not advocating you play with the lady’s emotions - at least not much - but I AM saying that it’s a LOT better to wait too long than to speak too soon. You retain that sexy control, you have the power in the relationship, and she finds you more attractive that way anyway.

Certainly compared to all the Mr. Rogers clones she’s had to avoid all her life.

Plus, it says all the right things about YOU and your time, that you have a fruitful independent life outside her presence, that you like being with her (or else you wouldn’t be there) but also that you’re ok on your own.

No woman wants to be a mom. She wants to be a LOVER, not a babysitter.

And now, this next part might take some getting used to: it goes against most of what you’ve ever been taught.

DON’T COMPLIMENT HER.

Oh, the occasional comment is alright, as long as it’s sincere and not forced. It’s also alright to use as an ice-breaker when meeting ladies, before she knows who you are, the cocky humor has to be very delicately balanced or you come off like an a-hole.

But when a lady I’m seeing is fishing for a compliment, I usually deflect that away in a funny style.

Say you?re getting ready to go out and she asks “Do I look fat in this dress?” I will often answer with “I wasn’t going to say anything, but?” and get a laugh, a slap on the arm, a free pass on the most dreaded question in datingdom and a turned-on woman.

Take the other route and do the usual cave, saying something like “No, you look great” or “You look great in everything baby.” and it sounds like she FORCED you into that answer.

She can control you. She doesn’t want to be able to control you. She wants a MAN, dammit!

Again, far enough along you can get away with giving a random real compliment, even in response to a fishing question - if you’re independence is strong and what you say sounds - and IS – sincere.

Just don’t overdo it.

On a similar line of thinking, DO NOT go out of your way to buy expensive dinners and presents early in the relationship. If your first dinner is at Spago, she’s gonna feel like you’re reaching to impress her.

Or, worse, that you’re trying to buy her.

That’s not to say you can’t have a first date at Spago, but if you do, it needs to be CLEAR that you were going there anyway, and she’s welcome to come along if she likes.

If you go out of your way for her, she’ll know it, and she won’t like it.

Unless you have millions of dollars to play with. Then it MIGHT work, with certain women.

Otherwise, you’ll just come off as someone desperate for her attention that doesn’t have anything but gifts to offer. Doesn’t make you look like the most attractive puppy in the litter (ironically, puppies that take women to Spago invariably do very well).

So in short, DON’T BLOW YOUR LOAD TOO EARLY.

Of course, to get to the stage of WITHOLDING that inexorable urge to tell the woman everything you feel about her, you have to get the woman first. You can get lucky now and again, or you can slowly learn the mistakes that everyone has to make, you can skip all that by learning the skills from someone who’s ALREADY made the mistakes and now knows what to do to get past all the tests women throw at men.

Yes, Henry Kissinger finally has a dating guide.

Ha, I?m talking about me. You can learn literally HUNDREDS of secrets about the psyche that women take into dating, and how to make them work for you by reading my books The Seduction Science System, 3rd Edition, or any of a score of other books available on my website with enough tips to make Don Juan take notice. Until next time.

Regards,

Derek Vitalio

http://www.seductionscience.com

How To Handle a Woman in a Group

In the previous section while I was talking about separation – and especially about separating a woman you’ve just met from her friends – I bet some of you a bunch of thoughts.

Things like “That sounds great in theory” but I can’t even approach a group of girls to begin with.” Or something like “Whenever I approach groups, it never works, either I get shut out or the wrong lady likes me.”

Those are legitimate concerns. And approaching groups is often a different thing than approaching a girl on her own. You need varied tactics to make it work.

And since most women travel in packs (humans in general, actually), you REALLY need to figure out how to get that lucky girl?s attention before you even worry about separating her from the pack.

What Do You THINK You Should Do?

I haven?t directly stated how to do this yet, but if put together a few elements we?ve already learned, you might be able to figure it out.

In fact, go ahead. Put this down and take 10 minutes, 20 if you like, and just ponder this problem. I COULD just tell you (and eventually I will) but things we figure out for ourselves stick better in our brains, plus they meld into our actions more easily. So, take your time. Get a coffee, a beer, whatever. Relax, and chew on the problem.

How can you approach a group and get one lady attracted to you? The others probably will like you as well ? but we?re concerned with making sure the one YOU want is attracted.

So, how do you do it?

Building Social Value

Thought about it? What?ve you got?

Hopefully, one of the things that you came up with is social value. We?ve talked about this at length before and in terms of groups briefly, but THIS is the first key. You want EVERYONE thinking you?re the most fun guy they?ve met in a long time. You want to SHINE in comparison to the long line of shmucks that have crashed and burned with them all night long (for the purposes of simplicity, I?m assuming you?re in a club or bar, but this works anywhere).

So my students, how do we establish social value?

One thing is, DON?T just stand on the side for a half hour sizing up the scene. Once you get into a setting, basically IMMEDIATELY start talking to people. It can be your target?s group ? or, if they?re a tough nut to crack, it can be a group nearby.

Group Jumping and Making Friends

Sometimes, with ESPECIALLY attractive women who are tired of dealing with men, they?ll be EXTREMELY frosty to ANYONE who approaches them cold. In that sort of situation, I might spend half an hour making friendly contact with almost EVERYONE in their area.

The important thing is, you want to remain near them so they can see you, and you DON?T want to be throwing attention their way. This is good for two reasons: they?ll see that you?re bringing fun with you wherever you go ? and they?ll wonder why you?re not bringing it to them.

The quicker they are usually approached, the more time I spend building good time with people around them and IGNORING THEM. Forbidden fruit, don?tcha know.

And getting the groups AROUND them having a good time shouldn?t be that hard, if you remember what you?ve learned so far. Start with a question, solicit an opinion where you need a woman?s perspective. Comment on something in the vicinity, or something they?re wearing. Make it interesting, funny? often a backhanded compliment said with wryness works well here.

Or break out your showcase skill, if it?s something appropriate (you?re not bringing a guitar to the club, are you?) The important thing is to charm everyone around the group? and then, once you?ve got their attention, charm the group itself.

In the Group? IGNORE the girl you like

The key when you?re working the actual group is to IGNORE the girl you?re interested in. Chances are she?s used to being the center of attention (here?s guessing you?ve chosen a hottie) and when you address and entertain her FRIENDS instead of her, you?ll pluck her ego a bit. Get a little bit of jealousy going.

Plus, you?ll get her friends on your side. They may or may not find you attractive ? you aren?t playing them that way, but they probably will dig you anyway ? but, more importantly, you?ll get the group?s seal of approval.

Wait for the lucky forgotten lady to try and insert herself into the conversation. As an example, one time I was working a beautiful short busty Asian in a group of leggy friends. This girl was fine.

I was reading palms and getting the ladies excited (a perfect showcase skill, as you don?t even need much skill ? more later on that). The Asian butted in with ?Do me!?

She wanted some of my attention.

TEASE

I refused it. Addressing her friends, I said playfully ?Man, she?s pushy, isn?t she? Is she always like this? How do you deal?? They laughed, she frowned (playfully ? smart women know exactly what is going on, but they still respond) and over time she became more aggressive.

Soon she was taking my hand and really getting grabby ? after playing with her for a little bit, finally I read her palm.

I challenged her about her dancing ? she of course had to prove herself to me, so she literally dragged me onto the dance floor.

I danced with her for about 5 minutes, teasing her all the time. At one point she said something like ?Fine, well let?s see how good YOU are then!? I danced, and she said, trying to be derisive ?Is that supposed to be the samba or the salsa or what?? to which I answered ?To the untrained eye it doesn?t matter.?

And then I started dancing with her friend. The look on her face when I left her alone on the floor without a word ? it was priceless!

You?ve got to make them work for your attention, and then after they?ve got it ? take it away again!

I didn?t want to be cruel though, so soon I grabbed her hand and I was dancing with the two ladies at once. After that I took my Asian lady to a sofa and we made out, which of course led to further fun later on.

You see how this works?

Let?s Put It ALL together

Ok, so now, your assignment ? go out and break into groups. The more insular the better. You don?t have to be aiming for any woman in particular ? in fact, it often will work more smoothly if you aren?t, at least until you get the hang of it.

Practice this relentlessly, everywhere you go. Get used to breaking into lots of groups until you can confidently become the life of any gathering inside of, for a large party, an hour. One thing to remember is to cycle quickly ? you need to get to know a bunch of people in a short time, and you don?t want anyone to get the negative sponge vibe off you. It?s not that you?re lonely or NEED them ? you?re just having a good time. Keeping your contact short does this best.

Once you?ve got those social skills clicking, practice your ignoring skills. This is harder than it seems, because our body language often gives us away when we?re trying our best to act nonchalant. That?s why NOT aiming works best until you?ve really mastered your non-verbal signals. Talking to friends while leaning into or facing your target doesn?t work. Talking to her over your shoulder ? or even, when she?s behind your back and you?ve cut her off from the group ? does.

Once you?ve got that down, practice the separation skills we went over before. Get these things down, and you?ll be well on your way to getting ANY woman in ANY situation attracted to you, and dealing with her one on one.

The hardest part is done.

Regards,

Derek Vitalio

http://www.seductionscience.com

Raz

– - –

A lot of guys think that once they have a girl?s number, success!

Not so.

Just because you have a woman?s number, it doesn?t necessarily mean much.

It?s quite possible that the girl took a liking to you, and you came across as cool dude. But a RANDOM dude nonetheless.

Sometimes women are flattered when they are asked for their number. So she gives it to you.

Sometimes women feel too guilty and bad to say ?no? because you seem like a cool guy and they don?t want you to think they?re a bitch.

Even if, in the moment, she gives you her number and she would like you to call her, it doesn?t mean that two days later when you DO call, that she?ll be in same headspace. The fire of the moment is gone and now she starts to rationalize reasons not to take your call.

That?s why most of the phone numbers that men get may be good for feeding their egos, but in reality are worthless pieces of paper.

You could go up to dozens of women, give them a compliment or ask for their opinion on something, and then get their number ? but 90% of the numbers you would get this way would lead to dead ends and message machines.

So what?s the key to getting QUALITY phone numbers and not just quantity?

Most throwaway phone numbers are a result of the man getting the number too fast.

First of all, if you?re at a bar and meet a girl, don?t talk to her for only five minutes and then jump for the phone number and leave thinking you?re going to score. After all, what?s the point of getting a phone number in the first place… to meet up later and continue the seduction, right?

But you had her right there at the bar, right THEN. You could have used that opportunity to seduce her right THEN. You were on a ?date? with her right THEN. So getting a number so that you can meet up with her later, and walking away from the interaction in the moment is totally counterproductive and nonsensical.

Also, if you get her phone number without going through the proper preliminary steps, then yes, the girl might be digging you, but in reality you didn?t have enough social value to her for her to want to start an ongoing, dating relationship with you.

A girl who with a social value of 8 might give her number to you if she perceives you to have a social value of 6? but that doesn?t mean she?ll follow up with you.

Phone numbers are only solid when you both have the same social value.

If you both have the same social value, she?ll be WAITING and HOPING for you to call.

So BEFORE you get a woman?s phone number, you want to make sure that you have at least equal, if not more social value than her.

That means having social proof if possible, using the nonverbal sexual cues, entertaining and leading her peer group, lowering her social value by temporarily ignoring her or teasing her, dressing well, ignoring social pressure, and so on? all the methods that build social value in a woman?s eyes.

Then, once she?s given you a few green lights, start screening her. If she passes your screening, accept her. Then isolate her if she?s not alone with you already.

NOW you can get her number.

Basically, if you want a SOLID phone number that will have the girl waiting and hoping that you’ll call, don?t even both getting it until the girl has shown you a number of green lights and you?ve screened her and she?s tried to pass your screening.

What Works Better than Phone Numbers

Instead of getting a woman’s phone number, propose an ?instant date? right on the spot.

After all, why would you meet up with her up later for a date when you could go on a date with her RIGHT NOW?

If you?re on a campus, invite her to go to the bookstore with you and have coffee.

If you?re at a bar, invite her to go to Denny?s restaurant for nacho chips with you.

If you?re at the mall, tell her you need some help picking out a shirt.

Or you can even instant date her to her apartment if it?s nearby ? because you just have to show her your aquarium and the pirate crab with only one claw (or use whatever other excuse you can come up with).

When you score an instant date you?re no longer just ?some guy she met at a bar? but rather you become ?a guy she?s been on a date with?. To a woman?s mind, it?s a much stronger position for you to be in.

If she declines the instant date, instead of getting a number, schedule your first date right then.

Say to her, ?Well Thursday I?m busy because I promised my friend Jennifer I?d help her move? but Friday I?m going to be hitting the beach with some friends. You can come too, it?ll be a blast.?

Or tell her, ?You like comedy don?t you. I?m thinking of going to this comedy show Friday night? I?ve been wanting to see it for weeks now and I hear the guy is hilarious. You?ll bust your ass laughing.?

Have a cool date idea prepared and ready to go BEFORE you go out so that you have something to fall back on in case nothing comes to your mind in the heat of the moment.

Also, try to couch it like you?re inviting her to something you were going to do ANYWAY, even if she wasn?t going to go with you. Couch it like you?re doing it is not dependent on her showing up. You ALREADY have a cool and exciting life and you?re just inviting her along for the ride.

Once you?ve scheduled the first date right there, THEN swap numbers.

Then it’s natural to get her number so you can keep in touch with her if your plans to change. You’re no longer getting her number to “date her”. You’re already dating!

Also feel free to call her up later and CHANGE the date plans on her. If you feel like it, call her up and change the day or what you?ll be doing. After all, you?re not tied to what you already specified by some mysterious law of the universe. Girls do this all the time to guys. And it just makes it look even more like what you?re doing isn?t dependent on her.

IF she resists going on an instant date with you, AND she won?t commit to setting up a date right there and then, then fall back on swapping numbers. However, this probably means that you didn?t build enough social value to her in the first place and most likely the number will not be worth the paper it?s written on.

In fact, if you played the seduction right, SHE should be volunteering HER number. You shouldn?t even have to ask for it.

Sometimes, just small tweaks in your methods can seriously UP the success of your game almost overnight.

Ditching the ?quick number? strategy and knowing when and how to continue a seduction with a woman is only ONE of those tweaks.

There are HUNDREDS more.

And by knowing the rest of the scientific methods of seduction, you?ll learn how to build your social value so that women don?t just give you their numbers out of courtesy… but they give you their numbers because they pray at night that you, that super-sexy guy they met, call them.

And right now, there are thousands of beautiful women out there that have Seduction Science to thank for meeting a dream guy.

Why don?t YOU become one of those dream guys?

You can and that new, wonderful, alternate reality lies right at your fingertips. Check out The Seduction Science System, 2nd Edition today!

Our Favorite Par

Ahh, finally. Here it is, the chapter half of you skipped to first because you couldn?t help yourself, the PHYSICAL chapter.

This chapter isn?t the be-all end-all. In fact, it?s barely the beginning. But if you?ve ever had problems with the ?just friends? syndrome, few instructions on this earth will do you better than this and the following.

Start at the Beginning

First, you need to be touching the woman from the START. Touch is a major nonverbal sexual cue. It doesn?t have to be anything sexual ? in fact, it?s much better if it isn?t. You don?t want to slip into the scary psycho stalker demographic.

No, all you need is innocent touches from the beginning. Her shoulder, her arms, hold her hands (and later we?ll go over strategies for that). It can be brief, it doesn?t even have to be skin on skin, but you HAVE TO initiate contact from the moment you meet.

Why? There?re a bunch of good reasons, so let?s start with the simple stuff. You want to anchor the thought of touch with you. She can love you, but if you don?t get yourself subconsciously associated with contact, you?ll have trouble.

Who Said Chemistry is Boring?

More important, though, is the chemical reaction you create by touching the lady. Think about this: have you ever been around a woman who you didn?t find attractive, but she glancingly touches your knee? Your hand? Your forearm as she makes a point?

What happens? If she isn?t acting in a groping way (that only works with someone you?re already attracted to), you probably get a little spark. Maybe a big one. Your opinion slowly starts to change. You might start to see her in a new light.

This is something called the oxytocin response. We all have it. And man, it is POWERFUL.

That electric response you feel is real. Humans are touchy creatures, and we ALL long for contact. When you have that contact, an interesting thing happens. You signal the brain to flood your system with testosterone. As most of us guys are well aware, testosterone is responsible for our sexual urges.

That?s why men tend to get horny quicker than women.

But start the oxytocin cycle, and you increase the want for more touch. And that next touch creates more testosterone, wanting more touch? you see where this is going, right?

The thing about this is, the oxytocin response needs estrogen to work. While everyone has estrogen in them, women obviously have a LOT more.

Remember all those electrifying responses from contact? Well, with women the response is about 10 TIMES as strong.

Which is why women can get just as horny as any men. Or hornier.

See where I?m going with this?

You need early constant contact to get the oxytocin cycle going, and to get the resultant sexual feelings associated with YOU.

Don?t Go Overboard

Again, this is not a license to grab. ESPECIALLY early on, if you make too much or inappropriate contact, you can mess up the oxytocin response by creating the fight/fear feelings that testosterone is ALSO responsible for.

THIS is where your playful confidence comes into the picture. Be confident, and you?ll be natural ? it won?t seem forced or pervy. Be playful and it won?t be threatening ? in fact, it?ll be FUN.

Kick It Up a Notch

Now as you get to know the woman better, you?ll want to INCREASE your contact and its meaning. This is why you want to lead a woman around by the hand. In fact, you should go ahead and hold her hand whenever you get the chance. In the car, walking around ? you need to set yourself up so hand holding is NATURAL, but once you?ve done that, you want to USE it.

Listen, it might sound fruity, but hand holding is simply the best way to get her used to and WANTING contact from you. It?s the PERFECT lead-up to more.

As you get farther along with your touch, again, you?ll want to increase the tension. This means more POWERFUL and PRIVATE areas. Like thighs ? inner thighs especially. Breasts ? but not for any sort of extended time until you?re well on your way to a nice session.

To begin, you want the contact to be light, fleeting, and NATURAL.

Ok, so now that you know WHAT to do, I want you to think about HOW to do it. To help you along, I?ll give you one of my favorite methods.

The Sexy Photo Routine

I call it the Sexy Photo Routine, and it works like this. You start by saying you want a picture together, so hold your arm out at arm?s length and snap the photo.

You need a digital camera for this, and here?s why.

When you check the picture, you gently and playfully mock her ? say something like ?This just won?t do. I can count the hairs in your nose!? or something else poking fun at her in the photo.

Move on to taking a photo of her alone. Say you want her to get in a sexy pose. She?ll probably give it a go, and then you can snap the photo and say, ?No, this is no good. You can do better than that.?

Now she wants to prove herself sexy for you, but it isn?t an overtly sexual thing. You?re subtly suggesting the mood, but there shouldn?t be anything threatening about it ? you?re still being playful.

Ask her to pose again, but don?t snap the photo. Instead, say something like ?Here, let me help you.?

BECOME the fashion photographer. Assume the role (and we?ll talk about role-playing more later, too). Then, POSE HER.

Study her figure. Physically MOVE her legs, her arms, into position. Grab her waist and tilt it. During all this, you can brush up against her breasts in a natural non-threatening way ? you?re just going about your photo business.

Snap some more photos. Talk like a photographer ? ?Yes, great, oh that?s sexy, yes ? No! Stop! Ah, that?s better.? Put on a voice ? make it fruity if you like. Keep this playful.

Pose her some more. Obviously, if you?re in public you can?t do as much, but if you?re in private, you can go much further. In fact, when I do this it usually leads directly to kissing and the bedroom.

Think about it. You?ve kept everything light and playful, while at the same time turning up her oxytocin response and getting her horny. Chances are, she?ll get hot enough that she?ll give you a signal to go further (don?t worry, we?ll talk about signals as well). If she doesn?t, you can STILL initiate something by actually asking her if she wants to go further.

I?ll talk about that soon, but first?

Homework!

Come up with five other ways to initiate deeper contact in a friendly non-threatening way. Write them down. Test them out. If they?re good, they?ll get you to the good stuff. If they don?t work, toss them out and try something new.

Regardless, I?ve given you PLENTY to chew on here. Take your time. This is the most crucial step in eventually getting to the latter stages ? our favorites.

If you want to learn more about the other nonverbal sexual cues that you can use right now to attract some of the most beautiful women out there, then you’ll want to check out my course Seduction Science 3.0. They’re all nonverbal, and pack quite a punch. It’s also available on CD!

Regards,
Derek Vitalio

PS. In addition, you?ll learn other ways to help you say NEXT, like confidence-building and positive-loop exercises that get your head in the right place when you are first meeting women. Check them out in the Masculinity Enhancement CD Series.

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First Impression?

A lot of people would think you?d talk about appearance first off ? after all, it?s the first thing you see, your first impression, first everything starts at the skin.

I hope you?re not one of them anymore.

As you probably remember, much more important (and equally instantaneous) is body language. If you?re ugly as sin?s deformed sister you can still overcome that with the way you carry yourself.

However, having said all that, appearance does still count for something. Not much ? there?s a good reason it?s at the back of the book ? but definitely something. It can mean the difference between almost and alright, between a first glance and a double take, between ?umm? ok? and ?Yes, yes, oh god yes!?

Luckily, looking good doesn?t mean looking like Johnny Depp ? not that it won?t help, but it?s also overkill.

So What Do You Need?

Right Next to Godliness

First, be clean. We?ve talked about this before, but as it?s the most important thing, it bears repeating. Women have better noses than men; most people can?t even whiff themselves since they?re accustomed to their own smell; result: most men stink when smelled by most women.

So, find yourself a good deodorant. Experiment a bit: I tend to steer clear of anti-perspirants since they?ll end up staining your shirts yellow, whether you sweat or not. I?m a fan of the crystals, as they do the same thing without the stains (though you?ll need to give it a few weeks to be effective). If you want a pleasant smell, a spray-on body deodorant is a good choice.

Brush and floss like a madman. What your mom taught you, yeah, that?ll keep your teeth healthy ? but it?s not going to give you fresh breath. MOST of the smell that emanates from your mouth resides on your tongue and the roof, so brush them just as hard as the rest of your mouth ? and cover every inch. It?ll take a little more time, but PLENTY have women have liked a guy, but just couldn?t bring themselves to kiss a mouth that smelled like? THAT.

Don?t smell like that.

If you smoke, quit if possible. Hehe, easy say easy do, right? Listen, I know it can be tough ? but A LOT of women will just write off all smokers. Not to mention it?ll ruin all the brushing you do, stain your teeth, age your skin, and stink up your fingers. Not every woman will care ? but are you ready to say goodbye to all the women who will?

Besides, in my experience the possibility of a painful death in 30 years isn?t as motivating as the possibility of a lonely night tonight. Just quit.

And How Far Did YOU Run Today?

Exercise. You don?t need to be buff enough to grate cheese on your stomach, but just be in decent shape. In fact, most women go for a nice solid average more than the fat, the skinny, or the muscle-bound. Lean is nice, hard is nice, but a simple healthy is enough.

The Snack Diet

Eat often. By which I mean, if possible, five times a day. Yep. Five. This whole three meals thing, it?s a product of the industrial age and the switch to factory schedules. Much MUCH better to eat smaller meals often. Why?

The less often you eat, the more likely your honed-since-the-stone-age body will think food is scarce ? meaning it?ll store as much as possible in the form of fat for later. Eat often, and the body thinks it?s got plenty ? so no fat. Even if you eat more over those five meals than you would in three, you?ll still come out ahead.

Don?t eat before you sleep either ? at least two hours before. Now, if you?re a skinny guy ? reverse everything I just said. Sumo wrestlers eat two huge meals a day, and take a nap right after. If you can?t put on weight no matter how much you eat, try it.

And you don?t need me to tell you to watch what you eat. Veggies, good. McDonald?s, bad. ?Nuff said.

What else is important? Smile! You don?t need to have sparkling white teeth ? a simple smile is enough to improve any appearance.

There?s a reason we call it dressing UP

Finally, style. If in doubt, dress up. If everyone else is in t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers, and you?re in slacks, a nice shirt, and loafers, you stand out. In a good way.

Crisp is good. Lose the sneakers ? women tell a lot about a man by his shoe, and sneakers say ?kid.? Now, if you?re wearing some dress shoes, it says class. If there?s a hint of money in your clothes, all the better. Again, not that money is a deciding factor ? many of the most successful seducers I know are broke. But, it can?t hurt.

Really, it?s all very basic. Take care of yourself, look after your body and treat it with the respect it deserves, and women will respond to that act more than the body itself. THAT?S what you?re really nonverbally communicating ? a way of being, not of looking.

If you want to learn more about how to use nonvebal communication and body language secrets for meeting, attracting, and seducing the women of your choice, check out one of my most effective ebooks, Nonverbal Sexual Cuing, now available on Audio CD. Attracting the women you desire doesn’t have to be a puzzle any longer.

Always being new

Have you ever spent some time traveling?

Apart from the usual excitement and interesting things, what is special about your MINDSET?

Ok, you could argue for a few things, but for me, there?s only one answer.

The NEWNESS of it all.

Even if I?ve been to the place before, even if nothing is ACTUALLY new, I still FEEL new.

What?s going on THERE?

Simple: ALL your habits are, at least temporarily, broken.

You are? FREE.

All those old patterns of thought and behavior, GONE. Old ways of being, GONE. And most importantly, old expectations, GONE.

Everything is FRESH again.

Man, I love that feeling. It?s my favorite part of travel. When everything is fresh and new, everything is POSSIBLE.

Guess where I?m going with this one.

Freedom and the rut

No matter what you?re doing, you will someday, sometime get stuck in a RUT. Sometimes they?re easy to get out of, sometimes not ? usually depending on experience and confidence.

Dealing with women is an example of a rut that is often EXTREMELY hard to get out of.

Hell, most men have been in a rut with women their entire lives ? so long they imagine that this is the way it ALWAYS is, and always will be.

Uh, no.

If there?s one thing you should know by now, it?s that relaxed CONFIDENCE is the biggest key in the lady equation. So it?s not hard to imagine, a rut that becomes something you believe a permanent loser aura ? instead of a streak of bad luck ? becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Ok, you?re all alone. Ignore the slob in the next-door cubicle smacking his lips on the sloppy joe. Forget him completely. I shouldn?t have mentioned him.

Now, time for a little honesty: where are YOU on the Rut Scale.

Step one: admit the problem

Are you in one? Is it minor ? like ?I slept with two women last week but this morning the coffee shop girl laughed at my proposal? ? or major ? like ?I hope to one day be with a woman again, but in all honesty, I think I?ll need a user manual when the time comes.??

More to the point, do you REALIZE you?re in a rut, or is it bad enough ? is the habit so ingrained ? that you think a lack of success is NORMAL?

If anything has a HINT of a rut or, worse, a hidden rut, then you need to MIX IT UP.

Wake up your brain!

You need to zig when you normally zag. Run when you normally walk, walk when you normally sprint. Do whatever you need to do, but CHANGE IT UP. Don?t let your mind settle into any of its usual patterns.

And when you feel a comfortable or normal pattern coming on, ELIMINATE IT!

There are some guys who take this to an extreme ? they are SO scared of habits and ruts, the moment they sniff one, they move.

That?s it. Pick up everything and take off for a new part of the city, a new state, maybe even a new country.

I?m not saying you need to go THAT extreme, but it sure does work.

Triggers and anchors

The mind is a funny thing. Oftentimes, we aren?t even too aware of WHAT triggers our patterns, or WHAT reminds us of a state of mind.

It could be your coffee table. Or the way the light hits your table at a certain time. Or the way it rattles when someone downstairs slams their door.

Basically, Pavlovian animals that we are, as long as we sight or smell or generally SENSE something IN THE SAME WAY we did during a previous state of being, THAT link can throw us right back into the old ways.

So, if you find yourself playing through the same depressing scenarios and expecting the worst ? because that?s what you?ve conditioned yourself to believe is normal ? then you really need to start doing things differently.

Different how?

Perhaps you can take a vacation and get out of the city, your apartment ? remove yourself from all familiar sights and routines.

Try taking new routes. Go to new places ? don?t keep hitting the same bar where you were dumped by your ex, go somewhere completely NEW and different.

It?s amazing how much a new place can free our minds ? you might not even realize it, but if you know people in your regular haunts, part of you is concerned with how you look to them.

You gotta get rid of that, and a place where NOBODY knows your name is the perfect place to start. There?s no fear about looking bad or acting an ass ? because you?ll probably never see these people again.

And on top of that, your mind DOESN?T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT in a new place. If you?re in a rut, it?s because you?re CONDITIONED to expect FAILURE. The most important thing is to get OUT of that conditioning.

Finally, whether the changes you make are dramatic or humble, temporary or permanent ? you need to SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY.

Don?t be lazy NOW

Given half a chance, your mind will slip back into it?s usual state. It?s known and comfortable and, no matter how fresh your environment, the second you get a reminiscent EMOTION ? say, nervousness ? your mind will want to revert to what it?s done before.

In truth, you?ve got a particular split-second you need to be on guard for ? the first one. That first slide. You need to RECOGNIZE it as it happens.

Do that, and you?ll recognize the rut. You?ll be able to understand it at a deeper level, and, if you?ve been working on your relaxation techniques and the such, you should be able to stop whatever anxiety starts bubbling before it can do any damage.

Sure, the old patterns will continually try to emerge, but the more often you see them and UNDERSTAND their coming, the less visceral control they have over you.

However, miss that first attack, and it becomes MUCH harder to put your fresh unhabited environment to work for you. New anchors for your old behaviors will already start to take hold.

You can?t have that.

Stay ALERT when you?re in a new place, and remember, whatever negative patterns you had in the past were JUST PATTERNS. You can break them ? and when they start to creep in on you, well, see them coming and don?t open the door.

Congrats. You?ve crushed the rut.

P.S.

Remember to check out the all new release of The Masculinity Enhancement Program for an entirely newly improved system to help become a very masculine guy WITHOUT being the classicjerk, get rid of your all your limiting beliefs with women, build up your sexual confidence and charisma, and see other wildly unexpected benefits in all other aspects of your life ALL by simply sitting back, relaxing, and listening. Because once you?ve solved this, the rest of your life solves itself. You?ll feel like a different person ? because, in a way, you?ll BE a different person. Once the masculinity enhancement takes hold, you?ll see EVERYTHING break a different way. Check it out right here and watch yourself get way ahead in the game.

Until Next Time,

Derek Vitalio

http://www.seductionscience.com

Oh yeah? Then why do you feel like you?re GAGGING on a spoon every time you approach a woman?

Simple, really; you haven’t yet TRAINED your BRAIN.

Back to that in a moment, first, you need to understand three factors of success with women.

#1 Relaxed Confidence

#2 Relaxed Confidence

#3 Relaxed Confidence

Woman can smell relaxed confidence. I’m not talking about arrogance; that is something else entirely.

No, I’m talking about smooth, playful, nothing phases you, relaxed confidence.

I wonder who it was that said, ?Perception is Reality?? Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter WHO said it, the fact is- it?s true.

How you perceive your reality affects the reality around you. When you have relaxed confidence, women treat you completely differently.

Back to your brain?

You know, sometimes old-timey advice pays off. The old ?X is as scared of you as you are of it? adage has something to offer when approaching a woman.

Now, I know it doesn?t FEEL that way. That?s okay, because we’re grown men, and we have control over our feelings, right? Picture it now:

You are facing down a rattlesnake and you hear your dad’s voice in your head.

Your Dad: ?Don?t worry, son, that rattler is more scared of you than you are of it.?

You: ?Thanks, dad, but if that son of a bitch bites me, that pearl of wisdom isn’t going to suck out the venom, is it??

All right, so sometimes fear gets the better of us. The trick is not letting that stop you. It?s okay to feel fear, but if you let it stop you, then you?ve hit a wall.

Funny thing about fear; the more you whoop it, the less power it has over you.

Think back to the last time you stood up like a man with relaxed confidence in the face the adversity and made things work in your favor.

No, not the last time you dragged yourself to a bar in spite of yourself and smiled to a woman across the room. I mean something where you had relaxed confidence and SUCCEEDED.

All right, get it in your mind. It doesn?t have to be an experience with women- it could be any moment in your life. For example, entering a big test with relaxed confidence or walking onto the sports field for a big game with relaxed confidence- or directing a project with relaxed confidence.

Remember how that made you feel?

Well, you need to feel like that BEFORE you approach a woman.

We?ll come back to this memory. We’ll call it your ?Good Times? memory.

Most things are like that, by the way. The more you work at them, the easier they become. It?s called PRACTICE. But here is a funny little short cut:

You don?t need to actually physically practice at something to make your brain think you are good at it.

The lump of grey matter in your noggin is super-sophisticated computer, and one if its main functions is to do what you tell it to do.

If you tell it what it wants to hear, it always follow directions.

Say you are sitting across the room from the girl you want to approach, and the standard pre-approach arrhythmia comes over you. Try this little exercise:

Think back to your ?Good Times? memory. Take your eyes off the woman you want: scan the crowd, close your eyes, whatever. Just focus on that memory and the way it made you feel. Relax. Keep replaying your ?victory moment? over and over again.

See? You ARE a winner.

You?ve just hoodwinked your brain. See, all those times before, when you wanted to approach a woman, you’ve set yourself up as a failure.

You keep recalling what it felt like to fail and all the little things that go along with it.

And, because we like to torture ourselves, we imagine extra badness; like all of her girlfriends mocking us, or the guys at the bar shaking their heads.

We probably had a bit of toilet paper stuck to our shoe as well.

It?s because our brains like to give us whatever we ask for, even unconsciously. So when you are approaching the babe at the bar, somewhere in you is the thought, ?I can’t do this.?

This thought triggers the brain, which goes, ?Hey, right, he can’t do this. OH NO! What if he tries? I have to stop him; quick, I’ll flood him with all the horrible things that could happen to him!?

But now, using the good feelings and confidence brought on by your ?Good Times? memory, your brain is thinking ?Wow, he sure is a winner. Didn’t he look good when he stood up like that and won??

Before you know it, your body is being flooded with feel-good stuff, which in turn makes you relaxed, which in turn boosts confidence, which in turn alerts the brain to release more feel-good stuff?

See where I?m going?

Here is another little secret- women don’t like to feel uncomfortable any more than men. So when a sweaty, twitchy stranger approaches them and stutters out a greeting, guess what THEIR brain is doing?

?OH CRAP! This guy is getting ready to HIT on me!?

Now what if, instead, this woman looked around and saw a friendly, smiling stranger who smoothly walked up and confidently said, ?hello? with relaxed confidence?

Woman?s Brain: ?Hmmm. Who IS this guy??

Which reaction would YOU rather get?

Me, I?d go for Relaxed Confidence over Freaked Out any day.

ACT relaxed and your brain THINKS you ARE relaxed. It releases serotonin, relaxes muscles, and regulates your breathing. Then you start to feel MORE relaxed.

ACT confident and people TREAT you as if you ARE confident. Then your brain notices this and (always following orders) continues to make you FEEL confident.

If you FEEL relaxed confidence, then you HAVE relaxed confidence.

And guess what happens to your confidence level when you score that phone number?

Now having relaxed confidence is the FOUNDATION state you want to have. But there are many other “helper states” you can program into your mind for yourself – like playfulness for example.

Relaxed confidence combined with helper states like playfulness make a killer combination that women find irresistible and sexy.

And that’s why I began the Masculinity Enhancement CD Series on CD ? to hypnotically install the critical traits of sexuality, flow, playfulness, connection, and more so that you can tease girls, be flirtatious, make women laugh, project sexualty, and just have fun and keep your cool no matter what?s thrown at you.

So for some of the most out of this world, kick butt hypnosis on 5 audio CD’s that will take your skills to the next level, check out the new Masculinity Enhancement Series -designed to get rid of all your limiting beliefs, install the key seducer states, and make you much more attractive to women… all while passively listening! It will be the next evolution to your success with women.

Until next time, keep working on practicing relaxed confidence and your watch game will markedly improve.

Regards,

Derek Vitalio

http://www.seductionscience.com