Planning

If you are married, or living together its still important to get out of the house. Go on a date without children or friends at least once a month. Planning can often makes the difference between having a date or not. Even though a date is planned, spontaneity allows for following the whims of enjoyment. Always remember the cost of the date does not determine its value.

Create Memories

Every time you go out go somewhere. Creating new memories help relationships grow. Go on a date and experience something new together. The key to a successful romantic event is attitude.

Surprise

Surprise inspires romance, if you`re going to be back first, buy your lover`s favorite takeaway, and try to rush and arrange a beautiful candlelit dinner complete with wine and silver candlesticks. If you`re first out and slightly early, buy a bunch of roses and drop by your lover`s office, leaving them on her desk with an invitation to dinner tonight. On the way home, buy your lover`s favorite dessert or ice-cream, curl up together on the sofa after dinner, get that dessert out, and enjoy it together.

Surprise him/her with a sensuous massage after a romantic dinner. If you do not cook, you can still arrange a romantic dinner. Just make sure you show that you have put some thought into it order her favorite food or buy a picnic hamper packed with gourmet delights. Be adventurous, and eat in a park or beach. If it rains, just move indoors to a carpet picnic.

Communicate

Verbally express how you feel but remember action speaks louder than words, however, sometimes your mate needs to hear them.

Suspense

Keep your mate in suspense. It goes hand in hand with romance. Notes in his lunch or brief case : Slip a suggestive note in, and leave him hanging. Pack a quick lunch of sandwiches or your lover`s favorite for his/her lunch in a lunch box. Leave a romantic message inside. The anticipation will build all day.

Celebrate Memories

Give your mate a small memento to trigger memories.

Play Treasure Hunt.

Leave little notes telling her how much you care around the house in places you know she will find them, like on the bathroom mirror, on top of the milk, in her purse etc. You can also include clues on the bottom of each message to help her find her Valentine’s day gift.

Romance

Wake up early, and prepare breakfast in bed for your lover. When your lover gets home late from work, suggest he or she lie in the bathtub while you scrub, rub and bathe him or her.

Keep it Fresh

Finding new activities that both enjoy heightens interest in being with each other. Unplug the television and the phone. Snuggle up on the couch together and watch a movie. Let him choose the movie, or choose one each and watch two. You want to have your mate’s complete undivided attention. Light some incense or use scented candles. You will love the way they season the room. On the way home, buy your lover`s favorite dessert or ice-cream, curl up together on the sofa after dinner, get that dessert out, and enjoy it together.

Prepare

Always have after dinner mints. Nothing stifles romance than bad breath. Need I say more.

Music

Music can be very seductive. So when it comes to picking music, go with what you like. However, when creating a romantic mood keep in mind that Jazz and R&B is usually the music of choice. Don’t forget to set your tape or CD player on continuous play. Nothing kills the mood like stopping to change the CD or to flip the tape. If the only source of music you have is the radio there is plenty of stations that plays Jazz and R&B. Serenade your mate even if singing is not your strong suit.

Compliment

Daily compliments to (and from) BOTH partners. Such as…”Hi honey, you look beautiful today!” Or “Hey handsome! You did a wonderful job pruning that tree!” You know just anything positive that you can think of to brighten your spouses day.

Thoughtful Gifts

Buy a thoughtful gift. Keep an ear and eye out for what she says she needs or wants. Always remember the cost of the gift does not determine its value. Buy him a present that takes some thought, like a book by his favorite author, or the DVD of his favorite movie. Buy him two tickets to see his favorite sports team, and tell him he can take a mate with him.

Spontaneity

On a rainy day, instead of taking the opportunity to do the errands, do the laundry, cleaning, etc… , take an afternoon nap. Put music on at a low volume and, enjoy yourselves in the stillness of the moment. Even though a date is planned, spontaneity allows for following the whims of enjoyment and keeps the dating experience from becoming old and disinteresting.

Participate

Keep conversation going. Ask questions. Be interested in what he/she is saying. Arrange to meet after work at that quiet pier where both of you love to sit and talk while enjoying the ocean breeze.

Candles

Dim the lights to add an air of mystery, and create a warm cozy feeling. If you`re going to be back first, buy your lover`s favorite takeaway, and try to rush and arrange a beautiful candlelit dinner complete with wine and silver candlesticks. Wear something sexy, but comfortable. Freeze candles a hour before using. They burn slower. If you don’t want to use scented candles, you can use heated oil, potpourri or incense.

After twenty-three years of marriage (yes, to the same man!), I am happy to share that a relationship can keep that magic. No, no, not in the same way. We have changed. And matured. We’ve watched and helped each other through some major storms in life. As well as some lovely high points.

What a delight to realize that what I’ve read so many times is true: Love after years of being together can be richer and deeper than during those first head-spinning days. Years into marriage, you can look in your loved one’s eyes and know that you know that you know that your love is stronger than ever.

But it doesn’t necessarily come easy. Nothing that meaningful or worthwhile ever does. Romance takes diligent work, time, and yes, sometimes sacrifice. Yet the rewards can warm our hearts every day of our lives.

What are some ways we can keep that magic flowing.? The scope of this article doesn’t allow for a deep study. There are many excellent books out for that. We can, however, look at those little acts that keep romance alive. Let me share some with you. They just might inspire you and get some of your own ideas simmering!

1. Have you ever opened your lunch bag and seen a love note tucked inside? Remember the rush of pleasure it gave you? It will give the same pleasure to your spouse. Sneak a little note into his/her lunch box or briefcase or desk drawer….
2. One time I saw a movie in which the leading lady wrote her love a note on the bathroom mirror with lipstick. It sure had a positive effect on the male actor. I just had to try it. Hmmm…….just telling you that my husband’s reaction was the same….
3. Take a walk together. Yes! Even if it’s raining! (I don’t know about walking in snow and ice. Living in Costa Rica, I forget what that’s like!) There’s something about walking together which inspires sharing. I’ve had some of the best conversations ever with my husband while we were taking a walk…..
4. Write your spouse a letter. No, this is much different that idea number one above. This is a real letter, telling your husband/wife in great detail what you love and appreciate about him/her. This is powerful, friends! I still have the letter that my husband wrote me four years ago. It had such an impact on me that I quickly wrote him one back…..
5. Laugh together. Find a humorous book, rent a silly movie, or just reminisce about a funny event. Laughing together is one of the most intimate things you can do (just make sure that you’re not making fun of the other person)…….

The above suggestions are certainly nothing earth-shattering or new. But every one of them will contribute to a loving, magical life together. So, why not grab one or two and put them to work! …Today.