Test his/her Personal Space

Everyone has something called “personal space”. It is like a bubble around us that we don’t like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that bubble disappears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won’t jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won’t step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don’t ask them to move over. We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so.

So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their “personal space” and monitor their reaction. If they move away, heed it as a warning and don’t try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.

Observe Their Body Language

Is your friend exhibiting flirtatious behaviour with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance? Do their pupils dilate when they see you? Science has found that our pupils dilate when we are looking at someone or something we are attracted to.

Watching out for flirtatious behaviour is a good method, but it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be miscontrued as flirting.

Touch his/her Hand

Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand possible. If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?

You could also try placing your hand very near your friend’s hand and watch to see if they move theirs away. If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their DVD or CD player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons. It would be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.

Watch for Changing or Strange Behaviour

Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in?

Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne…things you’ve only see him do when going on a date with other women?

Listen to What they Say

It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don’t like us and really play up any signs that they do. If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren’t interested in taking the friendship further.

“It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend.”

“I really like this guy/girl from work, we went out last night….”

“There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?”

“I’m so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary.”

“I have a friend who I’de like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!”

1. When your love gets home at the end of the day go to the door and great them with a smile and hug. Tell them how glad you are to see them.
2. Tell your mate you’ve missed him or her when they’ve been away. Juice it up with a comment about something specific that wasn’t the same without them.
3. If you have kids, compliment an aspect of their parenting style that you admire.
4. Are there certain chores your love always takes care of (ex. laundry, taking out the trash, shovelling the driveway, making your lunch)? A sincere “thank you” might be overdue if you’ve become so accustomed to this that you nolonger thank them.
5. If your mate does something sweet or romantic tell them how good it made you feel.
6. Always take notice of even the smallest things they do for you and thank them.
7. Give your love a pamper break. Have a bubble bath waiting for them when they get home. Have their favorite magazine or book by the bathtub, play their favorite music, light candles, and offer to massage their shoulders (or scratch their back) while they tell you about their day. Make sure they know this is your way of thanking them for always _______ (mowing the lawn, cleaning out the rain gutters, picking the kids up at daycare).

8. If your mate cooked supper, thank them and tell them how good it was.

Ways to Show a Woman You are Listening

1. If she has had a bad day and is venting to you, encourage her to tell you more. Ask lots of questions so that she can ‘get it all out’ and does not feel as though she is burdening you with her problems.
2. If she mentions that she has a doctor’s appointment (or any appointment or interview) ask her how it went the next time you talk to her. This scores a lot of points!
3. If she is upset, listen to her vent her frustrations and make empathetic comments such as: “Oh, that must have been upsetting”, “I don’t blame you a bit for feeling this way”, “It’s not your fault”, “I think you are completely justified for reacting that way”, “Wow…that must have been hard”.
4. When she tells you something, ask her questions such as “How did that make you feel?”, “How do you feel?”, “What did you think of that?”.
5. Ask her questions about herself: “What do you like to do for fun?”, “What is your favorite movie?”, “What do you like best about your job?”.

A couple can also anticipate each other’s needs to help keep the romantic feelings and intimacy alive. A married couple has an advantage because the longer you have been with someone the easier it will be for you to anticipate her needs. For example, a man who knows that his wife prefers to drink water will be able to ask for a glass of water on her behalf at a social gathering.

Here are some examples of situations where the man is anticipating the woman’s needs:

• They are sitting at home watching a movie, she is drinking coke, and he is drinking water. When her glass is almost empty, without being asked, he goes to the kitchen and refills her drink.
• She has a bit of a cold so he grabs a box of tissues for the car on their way out the door.
• She is sick, he offers to make her soup without being asked.
• They are eating at a fast food restaurant and she has salad. While she is putting the salad dressing on the salad she starts to run out so he goes to the cash and brings her back more salad dressing (without being asked).
• She is carrying something heavy and he holds the door for her.
• She was up late the night before, so he brings her breakfast in bed.

In all these situations the woman is needing something, or will be needing something, and her boyfriend/husband helps without being asked. Because he knows her so well he knows what she likes and what she needs and he gives it to her without being asked. It really is a wonderful feeling when you get the point of knowing someone so well that you can do this…try it!

• Read the Sunday comics together.
• Greet your mate with a kiss and “I love you” as soon as you arrive home.
• Eat dinner together at the table, instead of at separate times.
• Spend your lunch breaks together one day a week.
• Kiss at every red light.
• Create a secret word that means something for you both as a couple. It could be an acronym for a phrase that describes your relationship or feelings, such as SHMILY. Use it in cards, lovenotes, messages on the bathroom mirror, etc.. It could be a word that means “I love you”, or something you say when you want to make love. Don’t tell anyone else what your secret word means.
• Find time at the end of the day to unwind together. Take an idea from “The Story of Us” (movie) and ask what the “high and low” point of each other’s day was.
• Have a date night, or day, once a week. You don’t have to go out, and you don’t have to spend money. Click here for ideas.
• Attend church together on Sunday morning or evening. Visit different churches until you find one that you both enjoy.
• Plant a vegetable or flower garden every summer and tend to it together.
• Create affectionate nicknames for each other. nickname ideas
• Cook breakfast together on Saturday or Sunday morning. Make fancy things that you may not have had time to make, or enjoy, on hectic weekdays. Ideas: eggs benedict, omelets, blueberry pancakes, english muffins with egg, ham and cheese.
• Create a secret signal that you can use in public to convey a message. The message might be “I love you” or “You look beautiful”…
• Wake your partner up in the morning with kisses.
• I heard of a couple that took their honeymoon in Italy, after they got back just the thought of Italy brought warm memories of romance and intimacy. So, the wife started a tradition and let her husband figure out for himself what it meant. Whenever she wanted to have a really special, intimate evening together she would cook pasta for dinner. Did you take your honeymoon at an exotic beach resort? Leave little jars of sand lying around as a signal. Did you go somewhere colder? Drape your winter jackets on the bed or couch. The possibilities are endless.

One of the key things a woman can do to arouse good feelings in a man is compliment him. Start with his physical appearance. “Our society fails to recognize how much the male of the species needs approval of his physical appearance”, says Ellen Kreidman, author of Light his Fire (Dell Publishing, 1989). “Most men, believe it or not, can’t remember the last time they received a compliment on their physical appearance.”

It seems that women are receiving compliments on a daily or weekly basis, but how long has it been since you complimented a man? For the record, most men love being “sex objects” once and awhile, and not only do they love it, they starve for it.

The next time you see a man with sexy legs, or gorgeous eyes I Dare You to walk right up and tell him. The effort will be worth it when you see his face beam, or better yet, when he seeks you out later and strikes up a conversation with you.

Compliment his…

1. Broad Shoulders
2. New Hair Cut
3. Strong Hands
4. Blue Eyes
5. Amazing Body
6. Well defined calves/biceps/delts…
7. Sexy Smile
8. Perfect Chest
9. Strong Arms
10. Manly Body
11. Great legs